Dissolve
by NellietheMarvelous
Summary: Sequel to Melt. After dealing with capturing then losing Red John, Jane and Lisbon have settled into something nearing a normal relationship. The day he moves in, something happens that changes it all.
1. The Question

**Disclaimer: I may be awesome but I'm not awesome enough to own something as epic as the Mentalist.**

**A/N: This is the sequel to Melt, my friends, and it's going to be beastly. :D I've already typed the first few chapters and updates should be every few days. Unless I forget and then feel free to bombard me with hate mail until I get a new chapter up. That being said, this picks up several months after the end of Melt. It starts off light but come on, if you've read my latest stuff you know it won't be all rainbows and smiles. Nothing involving Red John is all happy-go-lucky. I'm seriously excited to be doing a sequel and I hope it's as good as the original. I've been trying really hard to keep it rolling along smoothly. **

**Word to the wise: If you haven't read Melt, you will be really confused. **

The early glow of morning cast shadows over the occupants of the bedroom but neither were sleeping. This was how they spent their mornings, well most of them. There were times that Jane didn't spend the night, random sporadic times but it still happened and Lisbon always missed him. It was hard for her to sleep without feeling the heat of his body next to her. She used to hate waking extra early, hours before she needed to be up but now it was a pleasure to go to bed at a somewhat decent hour so the mornings were more enjoyable. She wasn't alone and most of the time they just lay snuggled together under her blankets talking about anything. Although other times some mornin' lovin' is what kept them busy until they absolutely had to get up. She really liked those mornings.

On this one however, playful laughter left her lips as a warm hand trailed up her bare ribcage. The man knew she was ticklish and she hated that he'd learned that little bit of information. He liked using it to his advantage. Sitting up to get away from him, she leaned back against the headboard and let him gently grasp her hand.

Months had passed. Several months since the man known as Red John had slipped through their grasp. Five and a half to be precise. Almost half a year and still no leads but things were good. Things between her and Jane were great, despite such horrible circumstances bringing them together they had made the most of it. Yes there were times when one of them recalled the events, the pain but the other always knew and immediately discouraged any doubts.

Lisbon knew just because they'd found each other in an emotionally desperate time didn't mean they had to constantly let such things dampen their relationship. It was a balance of good and bad, serious and banter. They fought sometimes and then they made up. It worked for them and she was happy with it, however long it might last.

"I swear if you make a mess with that you're buying me a new bedding set mister."

"Relax woman, I'm an expert with this stuff." The tiny bottle in his left hand was filled with a silver liquid and she was a little nervous when he twisted the cap.

Some mornings they were lazy together, some they were playful. Though she wasn't sure she should trust him with nail polish in her bed and yet she didn't stop him from opening it or dipping the brush out. When he pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed the tip of her finger, she pulled it away.

"You're not seriously going to paint my nails, we have work."

"So." He grabbed for her hand again, catching it and peppering exaggerated kisses over the palm.

"I can't have silver nails at work. Speaking of which, I don't remember ever buying silver nail polish."

"I thought it'd look pretty on you. Now will you please relax?" With a sly grin, Lisbon leaned away intent to crawl out of bed but an arm caught her around the waist before she could get very far. "Fine, fine. You win for now but can I at least paint your toes?"

"It's weird."

"No, it's sweet." The press of his lips to her shoulder made her sigh, he was going to win the battle. She already knew that. It was just confirmed when he pinned her down, tiny bottle still in one hand and softly kissed her collar bone. She'd become powerless to his touches. She remembered riding in the car with him, coming home from the trip that changed everything. She'd still thought his touch was somewhat foreign then, it felt good but she hadn't been completely used to it.

Now, it was odd when he stopped touching her. At work she missed it, though she wouldn't break her own rules that she'd so preciously set. No romance on the job. No touching, kissing or even suggesting things. Jane had already broken the rules several times but he was private with it. Always in her office when they were alone late at night and she always shoved him away playfully unless it was brought on by something other than him just being bored and trying to push her buttons. She was in a relationship with Patrick Jane, sometimes he let his broken side show and simply needed someone. She didn't push him away if that was the case.

There were days, weeks even, when they were both just too tired to be playful. Days when the feeling of losing a powerful serial killer overwhelmed them to the point of being the way they'd been the night it had happened. In fact last night had been one of those nights but then they'd woken up, refreshed and more hopeful after a small conversation about the past. Hard cases always reminded them of the ones they hadn't solved.

Even after five and a half months, Lisbon still wasn't exactly secure. She still wondered if Jane would choose Red John instead of their relationship, she was still terrified that it would end horribly but in these little moments – like him trying to paint her nails – she forced herself to forget. She'd be there for him no matter, whether their relationship was still ongoing or not. She loved him too much to let him go it alone.

Staring down at the unruly blond curls traveling over her stomach, she let her hands grasp the soft locks. They'd been on dates at Jane's request to do things right, they'd enjoyed slow dances and ridiculous little things like holding hands on a stroll through the park but they'd never said those ultimate three words. It never felt like the right time, at least not for her.

The feel of his warm lips continued down over her hip, his free hand moving the blankets away to leave her exposed to the cool air. She shivered when he moved on to her thigh, down over her knee pressing a lingering kiss to the big bruise marring the otherwise porcelain skin. Tackling suspects sometimes left a mark.

"Patrick..."

"Shh, let me do this." He'd raised his head enough to look her in the eye. That look was back, the one from the night before. She hated seeing it and she knew it would go away if she let him do something as horribly cheesy as painting her toe nails. She'd never let anyone, male or female do anything to her feet before but again this was Jane. It'd be a lie if she said she didn't give him special treatment.

She didn't even need to tell him to continue, he knew she'd let him and had just went back to trailing open mouthed kisses down her shin, nipping lightly when he reached the top of her foot before pulling back to sit at the bottom of the bed.

He let the bottle of polish fall to the empty space next to his thigh and she prayed he'd remembered to tighten the lid. The bed set was one thing she'd splurged on. Both of his hands wrapped around her ankles and before she knew it, she was being pulled further down. With a yelp, she grasped at the sheets and then dissolved into a fit of laughter when he tickled the sole of her foot.

"Stop...Jane!" He was still Jane when he was annoying or in trouble. That would never change.

"Hold still or this really will end up all over the place." She stopped jerking her leg immediately, but her body continued to shake with giggles. It had actually shocked Jane the first time he'd heard her giggle, he assumed she was never one to sound so little girlish and really she wasn't but she couldn't help it sometimes. It just slipped. She couldn't hold it in when she knew this had to look strange. He was sitting there cross legged, facing her and she was flat on her back, knees bent and feet firmly on his thighs. He didn't seem to mind.

Resisting the urge to pull away when he lifted the silver bottle, she closed her eyes and cringed. She'd fallen for such a strange man. The smell of the liquid filled the air and her curious mind wouldn't let her lie in the dark. She actually wanted to see this. She pulled a few pillows under her to be more comfortable and then watched as he gently brushed the color across. It was rather pretty and it was cute that he looked so determined. A little unnerving but cute.

"See, I'm good at this. You worried for no reason."

"I wasn't worried." Lie, she had been but even if he'd done a horrible job it was easily fixable with remover.

"I painted my daughter's nails sometimes. She liked purple."

"I liked purple when I was little too. Something about it was just so calming."

"You, Teresa, always amaze me." There was a sparkle in his eye as he winked her direction while blowing cool air over the wet polish.

"Suck up."

"It's true." In the process of rolling her eyes, she caught sight of the shirts peaking out of her closet, the clothes littered around the bedroom and realized that most of it wasn't hers. She smiled when a warm kiss landed on her knee.

On the nights he stayed, even if they were both sullen, she loved his company and on the nights he didn't, she was always restless and lonely. It left her grumpy, she didn't like being grumpy. She liked him being there. She liked falling asleep next to him and waking wrapped in a tight hold. Even with being a private woman – one who needs a certain amount of alone time – she couldn't deny that she hated it when the other side of the bed was empty.

"I want to ask you something Patrick." Even without the I love yous, Jane had opened up more and more over the months. It started in that hotel and it carried on despite her telling him that he shouldn't feel obligated to share things. He'd just told her he didn't and then it'd become easier for her to open up as well. They'd come so far. "It's kind of a big deal and I'm not sure..."

"You're nervous. Calm down." Sweaty palms clutched the sheets, when she realized what she was planning to ask. It was out of the blue but sensible. Although she had no idea why she just all of sudden felt the urge. Taking a few deep breaths helped a little with the jitters in her stomach. Maybe she should have eaten something before doing this.

Jane chuckled lightly, finished with one foot and moved on to the other while trying to figure out what had the woman he cared so much about practically squirming. Whatever it was, it hadn't been bothering her until a few seconds ago.

"Hey beautiful, look at me." The nickname he liked to use always had her blushing but she'd given up on trying to make him stop. It never worked no matter how hard she fought him. She let her eyes meet his and sucked in a sharp breath at the intensity of his stare. "You're okay, just ask."

"We didn't start this relationship on the greatest terms. I know that it hurts you that Red John escaped..."

"Hurts you too." Ignoring the interruption she continued on, wiping her hands against the blankets.

"...but we're still here. We've made it for over five months and even if we...I miss you when you're not around and most of your things are already consuming my apartment so I thought maybe you'd like to move in with me?" What had started as a breakdown of their relationship ended with a questioning tone and wide eyes. No matter what Jane said, she would be okay. If he wasn't ready then he wasn't ready and she wouldn't push.

There was no answer for awhile, he finished painting her nails, and then abruptly stood up from the bed. Her heart dropped a little as he headed for the bathroom. She didn't say anything, maybe she'd been too forward about it and he just didn't know how to answer politely.

When he came back there was a small smile playing at his lips. She was more than a little confused at the odd behavior but she never moved. She couldn't or she'd end up staining her sheets. She didn't need to anyway, in a split second he was next to her on the bed and moving to straddle her hips.

"You're adorable when you're nervous." It was a whispered confession against her lips just before a quick soft kiss and then he gave her an answer. "Consider me packed and ready."

With a ragged sigh, she shoved his shoulder forcefully and turned her head when he tried to kiss her again. It didn't stop him, he just let his lips land on her cheek with a chuckle.

"I wanted to be face to face when I gave you my answer."

"We need to get up."

"Ah, yes. Work. Dreaded thing." They both knew she wasn't mad at him, she was smiling but they also both knew that one thought had been bothering her since they'd slept together the first time so many months ago. She was still wondering what happened if they didn't stay together much longer, what happened when this ended? Jane couldn't say it hadn't crossed his mind too, he was constantly asking himself that.

It still ate away at him that Red John knew they were lovers, he worried constantly but he tried not to let it show. He hid it with romantic gestures and playful attitudes. He didn't want her to realize it still had him completely shaken but one thing was for certain, he loved the woman and unless it was done unintentionally in the heat of an argument, he was not going to be the one to end things between them.

Lisbon had crawled out from under him, already headed for the bathroom by the time he realized it. He shook himself to make sure all thoughts of things ending between them were gone for the moment. He didn't want to think about that when she'd just asked him to move in with her. Things were going in the right direction not the other way around.

"Hurry it up Patrick or I'll be leaving without you." Her voice echoed from the bathroom and he knew she would carry out the threat. She'd done it twice before. She seemed to take pleasure in it too, and only when they'd left his car at CBI headquarters. Jumping up from the bed, he ran towards the small space they shared so easily. He figured he could at least help her get ready although she seemed to think he hindered the process instead.

**a/n: There it be, the beginning. I kinda feel sorry for them, if only they knew what was coming.**


	2. The News

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did then I'd be able to afford a new computer since Talulah (my laptop) has decided to die. **

**A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long with this, really there's no excuse at all since all the way to chapter 6 is already prewritten. I did have to change some things up but yeah again, way sorry. Will update sooner next time, promise.**

It had been a rash decision, asking Jane to move in but Lisbon knew it was what she wanted. That didn't explain why she was second guessing the whole thing once she was sitting in her office. The walls seemed to close in around her and though she was generally happy in her confined space, today she felt like it was slowly suffocating her. Was it actually okay to ask someone to move in if you've never stated 'I love you'?

She didn't know, she'd never lived with a guy before. Not permanently anyway and her nervousness from earlier was back. Jane seemed fine, absolutely perfect and not even bothered by any of it. She wanted him there through the night, every night. She wanted him with her every morning, she knew she wanted to live with him but there was still something bothering her. Red John.

Whether either of them wanted to admit it or not, the killer was at the base of their relationship. The start had been because of emotions throwing them together for fear of falling apart completely. They both avoided the concept, concentrating on the fact that even once the case grew cold they were still together. Still going and stronger than ever but the maniac knew about them being together and she was constantly looking over her shoulder because of it. So was Jane, she noticed no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

She knew she was simply just scared, normal nerves that came from worrying how they'd handle fighting now. Usually it ended with Jane leaving for the night or not coming over at all, that would no longer be an option. She still wanted him to move in. She wasn't backing out, she was just trying to figure some things out in her head.

The thinking stalled when a certain man entered her office without knocking or announcing himself. Though a distinct aroma followed him and she suddenly silenced the millionth chastise about knocking. There was no point, he never listened and her stomach was rumbling.

"Hey."

"Brought you some lunch. Just sandwiches but I figured it was better than nothing." Lisbon grinned when he set the bag in front of her, this meant she got her meatball sub she'd been wanting for days.

"You know in the time we've been together, I've gained almost ten pounds." Just by the bright smile, she knew he wasn't buying it. Technically she'd stretched the truth a little but she had been gaining weight now that he seemed to bring her at least two meals a day.

It wasn't until he'd made himself comfortable across from her, that she noticed his gaze was settled a little lower than her face. A little lower than her neck, seemingly glued to her chest. Smirking playfully, she grabbed a chip from the small bag set out next to her sandwich and threw it at him. A chuckle left her lungs when she watched it hit his chin.

"Pay attention."

"I was, you said you've gained almost ten pounds and I was simply trying to figure out where." She shook her head at him, before taking a bite out of her sub. The man was horrible - sometimes she wondered why she didn't simply tie him down so they could all work in peace.

The comfortable silence settled between them as they ate, the one they'd grown so used to. It was nice, nothing was ever forced, it didn't feel weird. After so many months, it was safe to say they could do pretty much anything in complete quiet and both were perfectly fine with that. Sometimes they just didn't need words. They communicated fine with looks, soft touches. In reality they always had.

Lunch had become something they shared in her office most of the time, unless on a case that had their minds too occupied to actually sit down to eat. Then it was dinner at home, usually a little reading or some other form of entertainment. They weren't really the most interesting couple, it was fine for them. It was easy, and so far they'd managed to keep it from the team. She knew they suspected something. Jane had started bringing her food and spending more time in her office, of course they noticed but wisely no one said a thing. They didn't even mention that they arrived together most days and left in the same vehicle - she wasn't sure the team knew they left in the same car, leaving Jane's in the parking lot most nights.

She really hated the term inseparable but truthfully, it worked well. They were farthest apart at work, or when they were fighting. Fights weren't something that happened a lot, not the serious ones that resulted in misery for days at a time before either of them pushed their foolish pride away to apologize.

With a curious stare, she watched the man taking a bite out of his sandwich and tried to think of when it became so easy to lump herself with him. It was no longer just her, she always said 'we' or 'us' and she couldn't believe she hadn't ever really noticed it before.

Warmth flooded her body when he caught her gaze and simply smiled. She was in love with his smiles, the real ones that showed he could drop his guard around her. They made her feel special, as cheesy as it sounded. He didn't smile like that at anyone else, just her and she loved it. It was easy for her to return the open gesture, no thought went into it anymore but his light chuckle left her a little confused. It wasn't until he reached forward, thumb wiping against the corner of her mouth that she realized why he'd let out a soft laugh.

"Such a messy eater." She opened her mouth to retaliate but he was right. She did tend to end up with some part of her meal, somewhere on her. With a huff, she chose to just glare playfully at him instead. "I was thinking I could move some of my stuff today, I don't have much."

"Uh, yeah...sounds good."

"You still want me to move in right? If you've changed your mind I understand."

"I still want you to." The words 'because I love you' were on the tip of her tongue but they never made it any further. Now wasn't a good time to say such a thing, partly due to the fact that her mouth was half full and partly due to the fact that she was too afraid.

"I'll probably leave a little early then, meet you back at your place later and we can decide how to arrange things...that okay?"

"So you're asking me now, before just doing something? Hm. I don't know how I feel about that." A potato chip flew her direction, landing dangerously close to the neckline of her blouse and almost going down her shirt. "Hey!"

"I was going to do it whether you said it was okay or not."

"Then why ask?"

"To create the illusion that you have some control over my actions." With a roll of the eyes, Lisbon swallowed the rest of her sandwich and threw the wrapper at him. A chuckle escaped her lungs when it bounced off the center of his forehead. She'd been aiming for his nose but it was close enough.

"Get Out. I have work to do." With a quiet grumbling protest, Jane cleaned up his mess and headed for the door, leaving Lisbon to ponder what their night held for them. She'd literally just asked him to move in only hours ago and apparently he intended to do just that as soon as possible. The fact that he'd said yes made her even more driven to catch the one who'd slipped away. They needed to get Red John, she was selfish. She didn't want to share Jane and that's exactly what she'd been doing.

Lisbon was actually really shocked that Jane listened, he stayed out of her hair and it wasn't until a few hours later that she'd learned why – he'd already left for that day simply saying that they could always just call if they needed him. She'd text him after that but he never answered, she'd decided he was probably busy and just let it go.

She worried about him sometimes but for the moment she just figured he was packing things, or unpacking. She didn't know how long it would take him to do either so she left him alone. The work on her desk wasn't going to do itself. With her mind wandering, she almost didn't hear the phone on her desk ringing. It had probably made the shrill sound a few times before she ever managed to fumble it from the cradle and up to her ear. A gruff 'Agent Lisbon' followed her actions.

The voice on the other end was one that she didn't know, one telling her some things that immediately caught her interest. Her heart accelerated, her breathing changed and after muttering a slightly strangled thanks she was hanging and already attempting to call Jane. He didn't answer, she hung up and tried back only to get his voice mail for a second time.

"Patrick, there's...you need to call me as soon as you get this. It's urgent." Slightly disheartened, she set her cell down on the desk and stared at it. She was hoping that if she stared long enough he'd call back. She couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't answered when she'd called back to back. Surely he'd know something was up, plus she'd left him a message. She needed him to call back, it was already after five.

* * *

Jane was standing, staring at the boxes he'd brought into Lisbon's home. They were taunting him, begging him to just open them and he wanted to. He wanted to mix his things among hers, let them coexist in one habitat but he wanted her to be there when he done it. It was getting late, almost ten and he figured that she'd be home soon and that there was no need to bother her with calls or texts. He didn't even know where his phone was to be honest. It wasn't in his pockets but he hadn't checked his car yet. He'd been too busy taking a little nap on Lisbon's side of the bed. The pillow smelled like her but it wasn't as warm or soft.

He knew he should find his phone, he'd told the team to call if they needed him and he wouldn't have known if they had since it wasn't on his person. Leaving his vest and jacket lying over a chair, he grumbled and headed for the door. Time to check the car.

The piece of technology was easy to find. As soon as he'd opened the door he saw it laying in the seat. He knew it'd been there awhile but when he checked the screen, he was slightly stunned to see a few text messages, two missed calls and one voice mail. All of which were from the same woman. He was more than a little worried, dropping into the driver's seat just in case as he listened to the message she'd left him. As soon as he heard her voice saying his given name filled with what seemed to be an overabundance of several different emotions, he was shutting his door and buckling his seat belt.

Something was up and it'd been hours since she'd called. By the time he heard her say 'urgent' he was already speeding down the highway with one destination in mind. It was in her tone that something was definitely happening and with quick fingers, he was dialing her number. He got the same thing she'd managed to reach; voice mail. It wasn't like Lisbon to not answer her phone. His imagination got the best of him, coming up with several scenarios. A few which involved something happening to her by way of Red John. He didn't like those ones, he hated them. They made him feel like he was failing again.

Pressing the gas peddle a little harder, he hoped that no cops had the nerve to stop him. He's put up a fight if they did and probably land himself in jail, well he could always hypnotize his way out of that as long he was given the chance. It didn't matter, in minutes he was pulling up outside the CBI building and practically jumping out before he even put the Citroen in park.

He wouldn't say he ran towards the building, it was more of a brisk walk after he saw that Lisbon's car was still occupying the same space she'd parked it in early that morning. Once inside, he allowed himself to calm down a little. He was probably worked up over nothing, but he couldn't help it. He'd lost one family, he was terrified to lose the only person he had that came close to being family. Maybe it was an irrational fear that he should work on but he was in love and very protective.

Waiting on the elevator to reach their floor had never seemed to take so long in the entire time he'd been working there. He knew that probably wasn't true but it seemed like it was and when the doors opened, he breathed a sigh of relief to be out of the small cubicle and headed straight for Lisbon's office. He didn't care if anyone was in the bullpen, he didn't care about anything but Lisbon at that moment and the short walk seemed like a mile. It was like those cartoons his daughter used to watch where the road, hallway, etc. always stretched with each step you take.

When he reached the door, his fingers curled around the handle and hesitantly pushed it open. He ignored the heaviness in his chest, the nervous twist in his stomach and tried to make himself believe that it was ridiculous to assume a worst case scenario at a time like this. That didn't stop him from releasing the breath he'd been holding once he was inside the small office. Utter relief flooded him from head to toe when he saw the lovely brunette slumped over her desk asleep, head resting on her arms. The gentle rise and fall of her shoulders told him that she was okay, she was right in front of him.

He'd known he shouldn't have worked himself up but it really bothered him that Red John was still out there, that he knew Lisbon was important to him. With a light smile tugging at his lips, he walked around her desk and leaned down next to her. His fingers moved to brush the hair back from her face, making her nose scrunch when a stay hair tickled it. She didn't wake, just kind of mumbled something and then grew quiet again. He loved her sleeping habits, he'd grown to enjoy listening to all the little noises she made. It helped relax him on nights he couldn't force himself to submit to exhaustion, or on those nights when he simply just wasn't tired.

Unable to resist, he let his lips rest against her cheek. He let them linger as he whispered her name against her skin and ran his hand up and down her back. She'd be complaining with a sore neck and achy shoulder blades from the position she was in and he'd of course have to help her out. He always did although she'd been highly skeptical the first time he'd offered her a quick massage. She'd even quirked her eyebrow in that adorable disbelieving look that she was so good at.

Moving his hand from her back, to her hair caused her to stir. He knew that running his fingers through the silky strands would wake her after a few strokes. His lips moved up to her temple, pressing a sweet kiss there and then he pulled back far enough to watch as her eyes fluttered open. He wanted to blurt out why he was there as soon as she groggily lifted her head but he didn't. The way her hand flew to the back of her neck stopped him - he knew she'd be in pain.

Her confused half lidded gaze, landed on him as a sleepy smile toyed at her lips. It always took her a few minutes to remember where she was, but he knew that once she did then the smile would be gone. Sure enough, as soon as she realized she was still at work she frowned slightly and tried tilting her head from side to side to help ease the ache in her neck.

"Oh-ow, what time is it?"

"Late, you called about something urgent?"

"Hm? Oh, right. We have a lead." Her words didn't make any sense to him until her eyes softened and her fingers found their way up to caress his jaw. "Patrick, Red John, we have something worth looking into. I wanted to tell you in person but I didn't think it'd take you hours. I guess I fell asleep waiting."

"M'sorry. I left my phone in my car...you're serious? There's something new?"

"I got a call, anonymous tip saying that they'd seen a man who looked a lot like our guy in a town just across the Nevada state line. I know that anonymous tips can be misleading but it's something. I thought we could leave early in the morning, drive out there to check it out? I already cleared it with the boss." There was a feeling swelling in Jane's chest, making it hard to breathe but he wasn't positive this wasn't some twisted dream to give him false hope only to jerk him back to the harsh reality with the sound of an alarm clock.

"Nevada?"

"Mhm, my guess is he's been hiding there. Are you okay?" Both of her small hands encased his cheeks as she forced him to look her in the eye. He wasn't sure if he was okay or not, he hadn't expected this. He was relieved and horrified at the same time.

"Yeah."

"The caller said he looks a little different, changed his hair and stuff but I still think it's worth..."

"Everyone going?"

"No, just us. We only have a two day leave but if something happens and it turns out to be an actual lead then we'll get more than that." Wrapping his head around the idea, Jane nodded slowly. It was still sinking in and he didn't know what to think, what to feel. He didn't know whether to be happy - he didn't want to get his hopes up just in case it was a dead end - or to let the familiar anger towards the killer take over him.

Out of everything he'd thought her voice mail had meant, he'd never thought of this. Not in a million years, he had believed that Red John wouldn't be found unless the man wanted to be found, same with evidence. His eyes searched the concerned green ones in front of him and then he pulled her out of her chair, into his arms. She let him without protest and even let her mouth cover his as she whispered a sweet reassurance against his lips.

"We'll get him this time, Patrick." It was clear to see that Lisbon was relying on this anonymous tip to be truthful. He hoped for both of them that it was. He wanted the game to end, he wanted to make sure she was truly safe and the only way to do that was if Red John was no longer running free.

**a/n: There's still one more chapter before they leave and we learn that they aren't as ahead of the game as they think. **

**Next up: _A sense of dread seeped into her soul when she opened the plastic case and fingered the disk inside. A chill ran down her spine as she stood rooted in her living room with her gaze glued to the object in her hands, a red smiley staring back at her, taunting her. _**

**_"Where do you wa-, Teresa what's wrong?"_**


	3. The Video

****

**Disclaimer: Really? No.**

**A/N: Dun Dun DUN!!! Sorry, felt that this chapter needed dramatic ominous music. Here we go guys, this is THAT part of the roller coaster. The ****one where you reach the top of the big hill, right before the drop and all the loops. Yeah that one. Be prepared for Red John creepiness, seriously the guy reaches a whole new level of creepy. Haven't replied to reviews yet because I'm literally falling asleep at the computer. I'm sorry.**

The cardboard slid easily against skin, making Lisbon almost drop the heavy box she was situating in her arms. The cool texture of it against her grasping hands was enough to remind her of how permanent her relationship help with Jane was becoming. With an ease most would use with fine china she sat the box down on the floor, she let herself drop right in front of it, pulling it to rest between her legs. Jane wanted her to go through things with him and despite the unsettling feeling in her stomach, she was doing it. It upset her even more that they were about to go on a hunt for Red John. She didn't want to go through Jane's stuff when the man who had taken away his family could be within their grasp.

She was a private person, believing certain things should be done alone but he wanted her help and she wouldn't say no. He was willingly opening himself to her and she was nervous about what could be in each box. So far it'd been mostly clothes, a few simple necessities of his but nothing much more than that. It saddened her that he didn't seem so keen on having personal belongings. She knew why, she knew that at one time he did but after his family's death he saw them as nothing more than material possessions. Possessions that led to his selfishness, which led to the loss of his loved ones.

Tugging the flaps on the box, she was surrounded by a small cloud of dust when it opened. Sputtering and sneezing twice, she waved the particles away and glanced down. Her breath hitched in her throat when she saw the bear resting on top, wearing a tiny pink tutu and making her heart clench in sympathy. It wasn't her place to be going through these things, not the ones that belonged to his wife and daughter.

She could feel Jane's eyes on her, he couldn't see what was hidden by the cardboard but she knew he could tell something had her hesitating. Fingers trembling, she gently pushed the box towards him with a tender smile.

"I uh, I don't think I should..." At a loss for words, she ducked her head and waited for him to accept the box. He never did. He was seated just a few feet away from her and it was within arms length but he never stretched the rest of the way to pull it closer. She wasn't sure what to do, she knew she wouldn't be comfortable digging through something like that. Not without him knowing, not without him saying it was okay and even then she wouldn't be able to relax. It wasn't her stuff, it wasn't his clothes or necessary items. It was things he'd packed away, things he was hiding from and she had no business poking around in them.

Drawing her hands away from the worn, slightly damaged and torn box, she dropped them to her lap and found something interesting about her fingernails. Maybe she should have let Jane paint them. Wiggling her toes, she had to fight the smirk at the silver polish winking back at her. It didn't ease the heaviness she felt in her chest now but it made her remember that he was there and he hadn't reacted badly to her opening that specific box. At least not yet, but he could now see what was inside.

Keeping her eyes trained on anything but him and the belongings of his family, she didn't notice when he moved. Didn't notice the simple gentleness to his eyes. She startled, jolting from the touch when he was suddenly behind her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. The heat of his body wasn't anything foreign anymore but she still found herself slightly shocked when he pulled her back against his chest, moving his legs to encase her own. He stretched them out, letting his slacks brush against hers, hands massaging her bare arms before he reached for the cardboard container of memories that she'd pushed away.

It ended up directly in front of her again, resting against her knees in their criss-crossed position and the bear was staring at her once more. An uncomfortable rocking motion in her stomach had her turning her head to look up at him, to tell him she didn't need to see. She needed him to know that he didn't have to show her but he didn't give her a chance to say anything.

"It's okay, I-I want your help on this. I haven't seen this stuff in years and I, I uh might need you." Swallowing back the words she'd planned to use so she could avoid this situation, she simply nodded. Patrick Jane hardly admitted to needing someone - at least in the emotional sense. She was one of the few people who had heard those words fall from his lips before and she couldn't turn him away. She could never leave him alone to possibly drown in guilt and sorrow, even if it meant sacrificing her own comfort and certain standards to make sure it didn't happen.

There were several long seconds, an understanding passing between them and then Lisbon let her gaze land on the bear again. The soft brown plastic eyes that stared up at her reminded her of her own teddy that she had stashed up in the top of her closet. She'd saved him all these years simply because the worn out thing had kept her company through many tear filled nights when she was younger. When Jane's hand appeared from behind her, she felt his chin rest on her shoulder and instinctively tilted her head slightly so he'd have more room. His fingers wrapped around the waist of the furry plushy and slowly lifted it from the cramped box, his breath hot against her ear.

"She uh, this is the first bear she picked out by herself." It was a simple statement that held so much meaning, Lisbon felt tears prick her eyes at the emotion overwhelming his voice. She knew when he said 'she', he was referring to his little girl. She knew that in the months they'd been dating, in the years she'd known him, he hadn't ever called his wife and daughter by name. She knew their names, they were in the file but he never said them and neither did she.

For him, she realized it was a coping mechanism. A way for him to distance himself but for her, it was respect. She didn't want to cause him any pain if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Well, not of the emotional kind anyway. There were several times that she wanted to punch him, shoot him, roll him out of the bed and once she'd contemplated shoving him out of the shower.

A deep sigh was heard and felt, bringing Lisbon back to the reality of what was happening. He was sharing, she needed to pay attention. He was still grasping the bear, his knuckles turning almost white and she could tell without even looking at his face that he was struggling to put it down. Cautiously letting her hand cover his, feeling some of the soft fur of the bear, she guided his hand to her lap and coaxed his fingers into relaxing their grip to let the memento rest between her thighs.

"It's okay, I won't let anything happen to it." There was a pause, a moment where she could feel Jane's hands trembling against her, his face being buried in her messy ponytail and then he trudged on. Dead set on going through this box.

She didn't have to help with the next item, he plucked it right up, told her how he'd taken his marriage for granted and then set the wedding photo down with the tutu wearing bear. He told her the little things, occasionally going into a long story about how his daughter had colored him pictures and told him that it was her 'art'. The coloring book was added to the pile taking over her lap. She didn't mind, she couldn't complain when he nuzzled her neck and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the sensitive spot behind her ear.

Time passed, minutes ticked by, turning into hours easily and neither of them noticed. Some of the things he told her lasted for only seconds, some thirty minutes. Some of the things were happy though depressing for both, knowing what had happened and some of the things were sad to begin with. The accumaltion of things weighing down her legs was cautiously put back inside their small enclosed home, hands brushing as she helped him.

"Thank you, for sharing all of that with me."

"Thank you for being here to make it easier."

"It's late, we should get some sleep. I want to get on the road early." They'd already packed, already placed all their things in the back of the SUV. They were ready, they just needed to get some rest first.

Pushing herself from the floor, Lisbon recognized the feeling of thirst playing at her tongue, making her mouth dry and cottony. She didn't wait to see which direction Jane headed, she went straight for the kitchen. The man lived there, she didn't have to keep tabs on him and she really needed a glass of water.

The floor changed from carpet to tile beneath her feet and the contrasting temperatures shocked her senses at first. The kitchen floor was freezing on her bare feet compared to the softness and warmth of her living room carpet. Ignoring the cold sensation, she quickly grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it half full of clear liquid. She knew she wouldn't drink a whole glass, and after a few long gulps she had the water drained. Satisfied and more than ready for bed, she turned on her heel to head back through her apartment, up to her bedroom but something on the table caught her attention.

There was a manila envelope resting there, she hadn't noticed it when they came in but she hadn't been paying much attention. She'd still been buzzing about the Red John tip they'd received.

"Hey Patrick, did you sit this envelope on the table?" She was inching her way closer, but hadn't made it close enough to read the address on it.

"Uh yeah, I checked the mail and assumed it could be something from one of your brothers." Flashing him a little smile, she took the last few steps and immediately grabbed it up off the table. The first thing she noticed was that there was no return address but her physical one was written in the center, big black print. Her brothers never sent things like that but figuring it could be anything, she opened it and cautiously peeked inside. There was what looked to be a DVD and a note.

Grabbing the case first, she turned it over in her hands, perplexed by the solid black and wondering what was waiting for her if she pried it open. The urge to put on a pair of gloves hit her hard but the closest she could come to the latex was a dishtowel thrown over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Leaving it, she decided to just open the thing and get it over with. Taking a deep breath, she couldn't help but wonder why this had her so worked up. It was just mail, right? Part of her knew in the back of her mind that it wasn't that simple. Chancing a glance at Jane, she saw he was busy moving a stack of three boxes, so she went about her business while walking closer to him - into the room housing her couch - and quit putting off the inevitable.

A sense of dread seeped into her soul when she opened the plastic case and fingered the disk inside. A chill ran down her spine as she stood rooted in her living room with her gaze glued to the object in her hands, a red smiley staring back at her, taunting her.

"Where do you wa-, Teresa what's wrong?" Lisbon couldn't get her mouth to do anything other than hang open in shock, she couldn't answer him, she didn't really even hear him. Her brain was only comprehending one thing: Red John. Whatever the disc held was a mystery but she knew, just knew without a doubt that everything was about to go downhill.

She actually felt the blood drain from her face at the sight of the calling card. Her wide eyes lifted, pulling themselves away from the grotesque smile and moving to the man carrying the same boxes she'd just seen him with. Trembling hands fumbled with the case and she knew she'd have to make sure and tell the techs that she'd touched it without gloves. She didn't even have tissues to use. With a gulp, she showed Jane what she possessed in her hands and witnessed the color be sucked out of his skin by some unknown force. She didn't touch the disc once she realized what was on it, what it could be. The red painted on the top of it had her stomach rolling. It definitely didn't look like sharpie, it looked like darkened, dried blood.

Neither of them seemed capable of finding words, mouths moved but nothing came out and Lisbon was starting to shake all over by the time she managed to hoarsely whisper a request. She wanted to go to the office and start working immediately. The team needed to be there to see whatever was on the circular plastic. She tried to keep herself from getting too worked up, there had been several people swipe Red John's calling card for threatening letters and such but if this was the real deal then the bastard knew her physical address, he knew where she lived.

"I'll drive." She didn't protest, though she usually did but her hands were convinced that Red John knew where she lived and they wouldn't stay still. She found herself believing this to be the real thing, she'd got an anonymous tip and this, in one day. Numbly following a concerned and slightly angry looking Jane to the car, Lisbon dropped the stuff back in the envelope and grabbed for her phone. Her mind was starting to control her actions again, she didn't read the note inside - she chose to wait and call her team first.

Once en route, Jane's temper had flared. He was trying to hide it, clenching his jaw and keeping his eyes trained on the highway but Lisbon knew. She knew he was thinking the same thing that she was: the bastard knew where she lived, he knew where her home was, where their home was. They both had a feeling this wasn't some random act, they both knew deep down that this was indeed Red John and he was taunting them.

* * *

Three in the morning never looked good, especially on lack of sleep. In this case, it was even worse, Lisbon was briefing the team about how she'd found the DVD. She left out the parts involving Jane being in the midst of moving in, but from the curious looks on their faces they knew she was hiding something. There was no way they wouldn't have noticed it this time. It was extremely late and Jane had driven her here, she'd tried to use the excuse about needing to get up early for the trip and she'd just been letting him borrow her couch but they didn't buy it. She didn't really care.

"What's the note say again?" It was in a clear evidence bag now, protected from any other foreign prints as Lisbon read over the words for the second time to ease Van Pelt's sleep numbed forgetfulness.

"Dear mister Jane, I do believe we need to catch up. It's been so long now and this is my gift to you to make up for the time wasted. Be sure to watch beginning till end. You never know what you'll miss if you don't." Nobody voiced the obvious question. No one asked why the letter was addressed to Jane when the package had been delivered to Lisbon. They all knew, they all realized that the serial killer was trying to mess with them, make Jane angry by targeting the brunette agent. It was working.

With a gloved hand, Cho was the one to load the disc into the DVD player and turn on the television. No one wanted to be sitting in the bullpen at this hour, watching a fuzzy picture suddenly clear. Lisbon and Jane were the most eager to see what Red John wanted them to watch so badly but the screen stayed gray for a few seconds before anything happened. It made everyone less patient but they knew they had to wait.

The sound came through first, soft and barely there. Cho raised the volume, and the noise became distinct and recognizable just as the picture finally flickered into focus. Heavy breathing, soft sighs, a woman's moan and everyone sat paralyzed by what was happening on the screen. Everyone but Lisbon. The sound seemed to multiply and there was a flash of the woman's face right before she buried it in her partner's neck.

The 'movie' they were watching was of two people sharing something so intimate it should never be publicized like that, two people. One blond, one brunette. One man, one woman. One consultant and one agent. Tears welled in her eyes, heat flooded her entire body as soon as she caught the motel room background and in a flash, she was out of her seat and pushing the power button. Her chest was heaving, she was going to hyperventilate and she couldn't turn to face her team. How was she ever supposed to look them in the eye after they'd just caught a few seconds of her and Jane, completely naked and doing something very very unprofessional?

The question remained unanswered, the solution she didn't know but she did know that she couldn't stay in the same space with them any longer. Avoiding everyones gaze, including Jane's, she rounded the table and headed for her confined office. Her brisk pace got her there quickly enough and with blurry vision, she closed all the blinds and fell back against her couch. She hadn't locked the door, she knew Jane would be only seconds behind her. Oh god, she hadn't even thought of it but how was she supposed to explain this to the higher ups? They were on CBI's dime when that had happened.

Just as she knew it would, the door opened and Jane stepped in, locking everyone else out behind him. An embarrassed tear fell, followed by another.

"Hey, you uh, you alright?"

"Am I alright? Patrick...the entire team just saw us..." She couldn't finish her sentence, couldn't stop herself from being so embarrassed, angry, exploited, hurt. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now and she knew just by the look on his face, that he felt the exact same way she did. He didn't like something so private being viewed by others and the worst part was that Red John had seen them when they thought they were alone.

Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down and ignored the discomfort as Jane approached and perched himself next to her on the red couch. His hand immediately started caressing its way up her back, trying to ease her a bit but it wasn't working.

"How do you think he...we started out in two rooms. I even had to switch because of the heater, how did he know? How did he get in?"

"I don't know, had to be when neither of us were there. The camera had to be one of the small ones, very well hidden behind a picture or something. I should have paid more attention."

"Victoria had just been killed, you weren't yourself."

"Teresa, our first time was not supposed to be witnessed by anyone. I might not have been myself during the case but I was myself when we were together, I promise you that. To even think that Red John could see...if it's possible, I hate him even more. He's trying to use you against me now." They had both known that it would happen eventually. When it came down to it, they had known Red John knew they were involved but they hadn't known how he knew something like that.

"I don't want anyone else seeing that. Ever." Lisbon didn't want to face the team again, she didn't know what she was going to do about actually logging it as evidence. She didn't want anyone to see it, it was personal, private and to tell the truth, she wanted to burn it. Wiping at her damp eyes, she let her anger replace the vulnerability and told herself that they'd get him this time. He was just toying with them and that would get him put behind bars for good. It was now safe to say that her whole team was tagging along for the little trip across the state line.

Leaning in to Jane's warmth, she let her head rest against his shoulder and heaved a sigh. Their friends had just seen a sex video of them and that wasn't even the worst of it. She felt dirty in an exploited way. She felt as though Red John really could be anywhere watching and her heart was breaking at the thought of their moment, their first time making love and it hadn't even been private. They'd had an audience. She was disgusted, her stomach was seriously considering pushing its contents back up and she wanted to curl herself into a ball but she couldn't. She had to be on the case, she had work. She did allow herself one more second to be terrified, one moment to burrow further into Jane.

"I don't want to go home, we'll leave in a few hours anyway. I won't be able to sleep at home, not tonight."

"We can stay right here, we don't have to leave this spot but Teresa I want you to know something..." Jane's finger lifted her chin, making her look him in the eye. "I won't let him anywhere near you."

"I have the gun..."

"I don't care, just know that. I promise you, I'm not going to let him touch you." The intensity in his voice kept her silent, only nodding. She knew she could protect herself, she knew that Jane knew it as well but she'd let him have this. She could tell it was his way to reassure himself, they were both pretty shaken. He could hide it better than she could but it wasn't her fault that her body had a mind of it's own and had started shaking, trembling before they'd ever left the house. She was still shaking and he was too. She hadn't seen it before but feeling him so close and being able to really look at his hands, she could see it.

It was from the cocktail of emotions. The whirlwind they'd just been sucked into had Lisbon too worked up to even be considered tired but she knew she should be. That's why she didn't protest when Jane pushed her down on the couch. It helped that he was lying next to her in an instant, spooning her and pressing a kiss to her neck.

"Don't worry about the team, things will be fine after a few days. You're the boss, they respect you." Lisbon knew he was right, but it wasn't really the team or the job that she was worried about at all. Okay she'd be a little concerned if the higher ups suddenly saw a sex tape of her and Jane but that wasn't what had her pressing back against his chest. She hated the thought of her first sexually intimate moment with Jane being ruined, the sweet memory was no more. The soft touches seemingly replaced by a coldness that hadn't been there ever before when she let herself drift back through their first few months.

The arm around her waist tightened, in a silent way to let her know that he was thinking the same thing. It was the only thing that kept her from completely losing it. She had him, he was going through the same thing. Not only had the serial killer found out her place of residence he'd also destroyed such a turning point in her relationship with the man she loved.

**a/n: Next up we have some awkward moments with Lisbon/Jane and the team: **

**_"Uh, uh Boss? I'm getting, I mean only if you want but it's after noon and lunch seems like it'd be a good idea." The poor man with the grumbling stomach couldn't even look Lisbon in the eye, and she couldn't really blame the big guy. It was Rigsby, he was easily embarrassed anyway but even Cho couldn't hold her gaze. It made her feel worse, reminded her of why her team members were treating Jane and her as if they had the plague. It was awkward for everybody but Lisbon felt a little better knowing that the DVD was in her suitcase. She couldn't let others see her and Jane like that._**


	4. The Drive

**Disclaimer: I have french fries...no Mentalist.**

**A/N: I know it's been awhile for this one and I apologize. I had up to chapter 6 pre-typed on my computer....and then it died so I've been trying to re-do them on my desktop computer. I should probably invest in a flash drive eventually so that wouldn't happen. Meh. Anyway, I hope you like the chapter even though I think the first one I had typed was better than this one. Eh, oh well. Enjoy.**

**It's a filler chap guys.**

Sleep hadn't come easily for Jane, it hadn't come at all to tell the truth and it had nothing to do with worrying about what people would think if they saw what was on the video tucked into Lisbon's bag. It had everything to do with the message Red John was sending. He was everywhere, always two steps ahead and was now targeting the one woman that Jane really cared for. So no, he didn't care what people thought because they didn't know anything, he cared that a serial killer had sent something to Lisbon's home address. He cared that it arrived the same night she'd received an anonymous tip. He cared that he had the strangest gut feeling it was all a set up and that the anonymous caller wasn't so anonymous.

He hadn't shared his fears with the woman in the driver's seat. He didn't want to scare her, though he knew she'd probably be a little angry with him when she found out. She was already worked up, already scared. He could see it, no matter how hard she tried to hide it from everyone. She couldn't hide it from him, he noticed the little mannerisms that proved his suspicions. She didn't hide that she was embarrassed about the DVD, didn't hide that she was disgusted and angry. Anyone who spent five minutes with her would know but she tried to hide the fear, tried to keep him from noticing which actually made it more obvious. He hadn't called her on it just yet.

He didn't want her mad at him. At least not while they were still in the car. He'd gladly taken shotgun, called it aloud and everything just to see her grin and just to learn that the other three wouldn't be riding with them anyway. They hadn't talked since she woke in his arms on her office couch, slightly uncomfortable and puffy eyed.

They needed to discuss things but she seemed terrified to speak up and he didn't really know where to start. He wasn't trying to shove his head in the sand like she was. He knew pretending everything was fine did not make it okay but he also knew by the little line between her eyebrows that she was battling something in her head. He figured that was also why her knuckles were turning white as she gripped the steering wheel tighter. It seemed as though the closer they made it to their destination the more it all bothered her.

He wasn't unaffected. When he'd seen what was on that DVD - seen such a precious moment ripped to shreds - he was livid. He was embarrassed, though hiding it for her benefit and trying to keep her from noticing just how terrified it had him too. He found it ironic how she was trying to be strong for him and he was trying to be strong for her. This wasn't something he could laugh off, maybe if it'd been something like a late night office romp that got caught on camera but that wasn't the case. This was the man who had murdered his family messing with them, torturing them and it was working quite well.

Jane hated him, oh how he wished a slow death upon the man who stole so much but lately every time he thought of Red John's demise by his own hand all he could see was Lisbon. Her smiling face, the playful glint in her eye when she wanted to have some fun, the seriousness in her demeanor when she just wanted him after a hard day - it was all there. The way she laughed, the little giggle that bubbled out at random times, the way she was ticklish, the way her hair looked when it was up, down, soaked. There were so many little things that others didn't see like her childish side. The fact that one of her favorite movies was Snow White and from that film her favorite character was Dopey - most didn't know that but he did.

He didn't know if he could leave her heartbroken and betrayed, didn't know how he'd deal with being unable to run his lips over her neck every morning. He'd just moved in, they'd just taken a huge step and he just didn't know anymore.

He didn't know what would happen when it came down to it. He didn't know if he'd go after Red John himself or if he'd let the law handle it. It concerned him a bit that she'd managed to get so far under his skin that he wasn't positive of his plans. He'd been honest with her from the start, telling her that he didn't know if he'd ever give up his need for revenge and she'd taken it all in stride.

He knew it bothered her, knew that she hoped he didn't give in to the blood lust but she never mentioned it. Watching her hands twist, gripping and flexing against the wheel made him wonder if she was thinking about it now. He hated that she was scared, hated that she had to feel that way. He wished he could make it go away, but he was scared for her too. The serial killer had taken two very precious women from him already, one never reaching school age and who was to say the monster wouldn't try to get Lisbon as well.

Her shoulders were tense, back straight as an arrow and that's how she'd been the entire drive. Taking pity on her, he cautiously reached over the center console and rested his hand on her thigh. He'd thought she'd eventually relax but clearly he'd been wrong. She seemed on alert, waiting for something to happen and it worried him.

A gentle squeeze of his fingers and her muscles relaxed a bit. Rubbing in a soothing manner, he let his hand caress the inside of her thigh and watched as the remaining tension drained from her face. The little line between her brows disappearing for the time being. He had no doubt it'd return but just for the moment she let it go with a deep exhale of air.

"Talk to me, beautiful." He knew the pet name would get a response, knew her cheeks would tint a light pink and her lips would tilt upwards. Those were the reasons he stuck with little gem. He'd called her beautiful one morning while they were lying in bed with his finger tracing the contours of her face, she reacted the same as she did now and he'd loved it so much that he couldn't get enough. She was always so modest about her looks.

"We're working. Don't call me..."

"We're driving. Don't make excuses, just talk to me." His fingers continued the circular motions on the inside seam of her pants, comforting and hopefully easing her worries.

"I don't know how we're going to work this, my team won't even look at me. How are you so...nonchalant about it? I know you feel the same way I do." He almost chuckled, almost.

"We work like we always do. They're your team, they'll still listen to you."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Meh, too busy thinking of other things." He didn't tell her that those 'other things' consisted of doing everything he could to make sure she was with someone at all times. Of course he'd go about it without her knowledge, otherwise she'd blatantly refuse even though he knew she'd feel better. It was written all over her face and showing more so when she was standing, her hand stayed close to her weapon.

It was kind of odd to him to be suddenly so protective when technically she'd been in danger all along. Being lead on the case made her an automatic target if Red John chose and yet now he was feeling possessive. The video made all the difference.

He wouldn't necessarily say he'd been nonchalant about the team seeing a sex tape of him with Lisbon but he was hiding the effect it'd had on him, burying it behind what actually truly had him shaken. Red John had seen them, been watching and waiting somewhere. The twisted man was going to use Lisbon against him somehow, he knew it.

What had his heart speeding up, stomach dropping and hand clutching her thigh had nothing to do with the team seeing him void of clothing and breathing heavily. The note. They'd forgotten all about the note after realizing what it was that was on the DVD. Who could really blame them? It was sickening to think of and he'd been so worried about how Lisbon was handling it that they forgot the menacing words typed out in bold print on pristine white copy paper.

"We have to watch the video."

"What? No."

"Think of the note, remember what it said?" She never took her eyes from the road but he saw the second recognition appeared. He saw her suck in a gulp of air, felt her muscles tense beneath his hand. "We have to."

A small whimper left her lungs at the thought and he reassured her with a squeeze. They had to watch it all the way through. The note said to, and though it could be some twisted joke to put them through the disturbance of watching it, they'd never forgive themselves if they missed something by refusing to do so.

"Just us, just me if you can't. No one else has to see it okay?"

"Okay." He wasn't thrilled with the idea either but if it helped them somehow then he'd endure it. "No one else?"

"No."

"Tonight, once we're settled in." Her eyes shifted to glance at him, a slight worry making it's presence known as his hand went back to rubbing along her thigh. "Rest now, you didn't sleep."

He didn't ask how she knew since she'd been snoring softly but he leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. He was feeling rather tired and they were almost there...a few minutes couldn't hurt. Settling back in his seat, he chose to leave his hand - he liked the warmth of her body. Wiggling a bit to get comfortable, he closed his eyes while thinking of everything that could potentially happen.

* * *

It was after noon when they arrived at the hotel, followed closely by the vehicle full of the rest of them. Lisbon dreaded getting out of the SUV, she dreaded talking to them. She didn't know how to act, didn't know how Jane pulled off the meh attitude so well. She knew he was upset, he let her see that but no one else. She really dreaded what the night would bring, that tape. She didn't want to think about it. Pushing it to the back of her mind, she found a parking space and then turned to face the man finally sleeping.

She felt bad knowing that she was about to wake him. He seemed so tired, he never slept well to begin with but anything involving Red John and you could forget about him sleeping. Thoughts kept him awake, she knew they did and she was starting to have the same problem. Being completely honest with herself, it wasn't the fact that her team wouldn't meet her gaze that had her so tense. She had a feeling bubbling in her stomach, one she didn't like. A gut feeling that something terrible was going to happen.

She hoped her gut was wrong, she didn't want to deal with the emotional turmoil if it was right. She didn't want to deal with losing the man next to her, the one who had a horrible tendency to try and shut her out when it came to anything involving the one who killed his family. Their last run in with the bastard proved that. She prayed he wouldn't try this time, she didn't want to have to fight for him to confide in her.

His hand was still weighing heavily on her thigh, it'd been unmoving for over an hour and sometime in that amount of time she'd moved hers to cover it. She wasn't sure when that had happened but gave herself a few minutes to run her fingers over his, tracing down to his knuckles and back. Grasping tightly she gently leaned over to shake his shoulder with her free hand.

"Jane, we're here." He wasn't much of a deep sleeper, his eyes fluttering open at the sound of his surname. Even after almost six months it still slipped sometimes, even when they were alone. "Come on, we need to check in and then meet with local law enforcement."

He stretched in the seat, reminding her of a cat all the way down to the groan that almost sounded like a purr. She didn't wait for him to say anything, just climbed out to find her team waiting. Stunned a bit that they were simply standing there, she froze. It was the sound of Jane slamming the car door that jolted back to what she'd been doing.

With her body already trying to show that she was still embarrassed, Lisbon ducked her head and headed for the entrance of the motel. She didn't want to get her bags just in case there weren't enough rooms for them. She was starting to think the silence between all of them would last forever but just as she pushed her way into the lobby a voice caught her attention.

"Uh, uh Boss? I'm getting, I mean only if you want but it's after noon and lunch seems like it'd be a good idea." The poor man with the grumbling stomach couldn't even look Lisbon in the eye, and she couldn't really blame the big guy. It was Rigsby, he was easily embarrassed anyway but even Cho couldn't hold her gaze. It made her feel worse, reminded her of why her team members were treating Jane and her as if they had the plague. It was awkward for everybody but Lisbon felt a little better knowing that the DVD was in her suitcase. She couldn't let others see her and Jane like that.

"We'll get settled into our rooms, find something to eat and then meet up with the local PD." She sailed through the instructions easily. She was still the boss, Jane was right. She could handle this. Turning to the woman at the front desk she asked for four rooms and nobody made a remark. They all knew not to, though they all knew who would be sharing a room.

She'd thought of getting the standard five, technically CBI paid for five but she'd ended up cancelling Jane's room last time and she knew they'd spend their nights together anyway. It'd be a wasted space.

The woman didn't say anything, just typed something in on the computer, scrunched her nose in distaste and rattled off the room numbers. Silently Lisbon wondered if she was in anyway related to the snooty woman who had given her such a hard time about the heater so many months ago. They had that same attitude, she could already tell she wasn't going to get along with her but she offered a polite smile anyway as she took the keys.

The place was small, still using actual keys instead of cards. Handing one to Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt, she kept one for herself and headed back out to grab her bags. A part of her wondered if Red John knew they were there, part of her wondered if he'd been the one to call her, if he'd been the anonymous tip. If so, that meant they'd played right into his hands.

Despite knowing that her team was following and that Jane was right at her side, her fingers twitched against her thigh, wanting to feel the protection of her gun in her palm. If everything panned out and the man who'd posed as Tyler Remington was indeed somewhere near then she didn't want to let her guard down.

When she pulled her suitcase from the back of the SUV, Jane covered her hand discreetly with his own and whispered a soft 'it's okay' in her ear. He covered the move by grabbing his own things and moving away but it was sweet of him and she decided that she would have believed it if she hadn't heard the doubt in his voice. He wasn't sure it was okay either and that left her feeling more jumpy.

They made their way to the second floor, intent to get to their rooms and once again Rigsby was the first to speak up. She suddenly really liked him. She would rather deal with his awkwardness than the silence.

"So, there was a McDonald's a few miles back..."

"What are you, five?" Cho's comment had her grinning, feeling slightly better and thinking things were getting back to normal.

"They have really good fries."

"You guys do what you want, I'm just going to find something around here." Shooting a glance at Jane confirmed that he'd be staying with her and the other three could battle it out amongst themselves. She really couldn't care less whether they went to McDonald's or not, she was probably just going to grab a snack from the vending machine. "Oh and ask around, see if anyone has seen our guy."

Just as they were separating to disappear into separate rooms, Cho called her name - her given name. Slightly startled, she turned to see all three agents staring and smiling softly.

"You don't have to be so embarrassed Boss. We're all adults and it's not like you knew you were being taped." Offering them all a quick smile, she gave Cho a nod and slipped inside her room. Jane followed easily, thanking them for trying to make her feel better. Things would still be a little strange for a bit but her chest was feeling a little lighter.

Their bags dropped to the floor as soon as the door was shut. Lisbon let out a deep breath, and perched herself on the edge of the double bed. The room was small, cramped almost but it'd work. Her eyes scanned the walls, there were no frames hanging - nothing to hide a camera in. Though she was skeptical of the plant in the corner and the fact that as small as surveillance cameras can go, there could always be a hole or something. She was growing paranoid and they hadn't even been there for two whole minutes. She wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep at all in another motel room for the rest of her life...definitely not with Red John still out there and she certainly wouldn't be engaging in any physical activities.

"Don't start that, you'll freak yourself out." She laughed bitterly at his words of warning. Too late. His body settled next to her, thighs touching as he flopped back against the mattress. "Lay here with me."

"We need to go."

"Just for a minute." Just like always, she found herself giving in. Her muscles relaxing and letting her fall back before she even realized what she was doing. His arm wrapped around her waist, his lips caressing hers in a quick tender kiss and then they were just staring. "You know as well as I do that this is a trap, don't you?"

"Yeah, though I'm desperately hoping we're wrong."

"I want to be wrong." The words sounded so strange coming from his lips. Jane wanted to be wrong, any other situation and she would've rolled into the floor laughing. "The team's right Teresa, you don't need to be so embarrassed. Yes it's humiliating but they understand that we weren't deliberately showing them something like that. Besides you shouldn't be embarrassed at all, know why?"

Shaking her head no, brow scrunched as he offered her a brilliant smile, she wondered what he was hinting at.

"It was my naked rear shining." This time she did laugh, low and throaty. The sound bubbling up from her belly and filling the room as she lovingly nuzzled his neck. He had a good point, and she really did love it when he tried to cheer her up - even though he wasn't in the best mood either. It made it seem all the more endearing. She hoped this would be the last time they ever felt like this, the last time they had to wonder if they'd catch him or not. She wanted the chase to be over for every-bodies well being, for the families of the people he'd killed and for Jane because he deserved some form of closure. All of them did.

**a/n: Yes, eventually they will get around to watching the video and finding out what's on it. Temptation will be updated by Friday, I feel terrible because I left that one with a cliffhanger...oops. Family Revelations and United will be next. I don't know which will come first. :D**

**Next chapter we get into the search for Red John...**

**"He left us a present." The hint of disgust in Jane's voice was obvious. **

**"He knows we're here. Dammit, he brought us here for this." Lisbon hung her head for a few moments to clear her mind. Their gut feelings had been right and she'd so been hoping that they weren't. Not even twenty four hours and the bastard knew they were in the vicinity.**


	5. The Gift

**Disclaimer: Well...I still don't own it. Merely having some fun.**

**A/N: *Sigh* Well, I'm kinda nervous so I'm not promising this chapter to be the best. I can hardly focus on any task at the moment. Oh and I'll try to update Temptation next but first...the couch is calling me.**

**In case you didn't notice, this story is pretty much like a scavenger hunt. I figured with Melt, Red John got away so he's back to toy with them now and you'll find out why later.**

There was a reason for pressing a little harder on the gas pedal, a reason the agent didn't want to slow down and it had come sooner than anyone had expected. Cho usually wasn't one to show his feelings but that didn't mean that he didn't have them. He just didn't like everyone knowing his business but he wasn't so sure he cared when a serial killer was taunting them. Not necessarily them but Jane. The man toyed with Jane and now Lisbon had been pulled into it as well. He knew the deal, knew all of them were potential targets if they got too close but it saddened him that his boss was collateral. That's all she was to Red John, a way to mess with the consultant.

She'd called him, a tremor in her voice as she relayed a message about a body being found. He'd known immediately that it was Red John before she ever mentioned it, he had known. They hadn't even managed to make it through the McDonald's drive-thru but food was no longer the priority. His hunger pains as well as everyone elses had just been put on the back burner. They hadn't even had the chance to fully settle into their rooms and already there was a body. This wasn't their jurisdiction, they weren't even in California but Red John didn't care and since the case belonged to them, then so did this.

They hadn't even come to do much other than ask around and such but now they'd be back on the chase, back to Jane being Jane and watching Lisbon fight with her emotions over the blond. Cho had known, he'd known since the small girl, Victoria, had been slaughtered months ago that something had changed between his boss and the consultant. He just hadn't known the full extent until that video popped up. He definitely didn't need to relive that vision but he hated that Lisbon acted as though they wouldn't treat her the same. She was still the boss, he still respected her greatly and honestly the only thing that had went through his mind while watching the very brief clip had been anger. No one should have to watch something like that, especially with how much Lisbon cherished her privacy.

He wanted to catch Red John, they needed to get him this time and they needed to get him for good. They couldn't let him get away again. He'd just come back and taunt them whenever he felt the urge.

The mood of everyone in the car had dropped drastically, no one saying anything. It was silent and though Cho usually liked the quiet, he didn't today. It wasn't a peaceful silence. It was filled with thoughts of what could happen - what would happen this time. It was tense and brimming with waves of emotions strong enough to knock a person off their feet. Everyone was feeling the same thing, everyone was wondering how Jane would handle it this time and how Lisbon would fare as well. The rules of the game had changed with that DVD, everything was different and if possible even more personal than before.

It had always been personal, Jane made it that way but this made it more so. Targeting Lisbon made it seem almost surreal. He really felt sorry for the two, they didn't deserve this. He had a feeling deep in his gut that this trip wouldn't end well for someone - he really hoped that someone wasn't any of them.

When he pulled up outside of the small home and saw his boss waiting, he wasn't sure he was ready to see the gruesome smiley that would no doubt be painted in the victims blood. He wasn't sure he was ready to see Jane so out of sorts and Lisbon struggling to hide her concern for the man. He wasn't sure he was ready to see Van Pelt's color fade from her face, Rigsby's jaw twitch or feel his own muscles tighten but he didn't have a choice. This was sadly part of the job. Nobody was left unaffected, he may not be one to show it but it bothered him just as much as it would anyone. Even his days in a gang hadn't prepared him for someone as grisly and cold hearted as Red John.

* * *

It was that heart pounding, jaw dropping feeling all over again as heavy footfalls led them down a hallway and towards a bedroom. Lisbon almost wished that Red John would go find a hole to die in - leave them all in peace with no worries of Jane's revenge weighing heavily on her mind and no fear of the creep escaping again. It'd be so much easier if he just vanished off the face of the planet - so much easier but then would Jane ever be satisfied with something like that? She highly doubted it.

Stealing a quick glance at the man next to her, she noticed his eyes were on the floor as they moved forwards. She wanted to reach out and touch his arm, maybe whisper some words of comfort but she didn't. It wasn't the appropriate time or place. She wasn't paying attention to anything the officer leading them was saying. She already knew the basics and the local wasn't going to tell her anything of great importance anyway so she continued to keep an eye on her...significant other. It occurred to her that she hadn't really given a whole lot of thought to what term to associate with the man. Boyfriend fit but she didn't like it. Lover wasn't right unless meant in a loving, joking kinda way. They were living together, that pushed them a little further than lovers. She'd think more about it later, she didn't even understand why her mind was trying to distract her from the present.

She thought it might be a slight panic tactic, she hated these cases. Turning her attention back to the officer in front of her, she tried to at least partially listen to what he was saying. This was the same man that she was supposed to meet with later to explain what the CBI was doing there but ever since the last fiasco with the serial killer, she wasn't exactly trusting of other law enforcement. She was cautious, less likely to share certain things and less likely to believe the words coming out of their mouths. It wasn't like she'd fully trusted anyone to begin with but now she questioned absolutely everything. For all she knew, this guy - this Officer Hall - could be one of Red John's minions. Just like a few years back - just like Hardy.

The room was nothing special, ordinary except for the smiley painted in blood staring back at them as soon as they made it through the doorway. Something was different this time. He'd changed the game yet again. It worried Lisbon that when it came to involving Jane, it seemed Red John would do anything.

There was a note taped to the woman with one word printed in bold black letters: Welcome. There was nothing else, just that word and it felt like an uncomfortable wedge had been been dropped into her stomach.

"He left us a present." The hint of disgust in Jane's voice was obvious.

"He knows we're here. Dammit, he brought us here for this." Lisbon hung her head for a few moments to clear her mind. Their gut feelings had been right and she'd so been hoping that they weren't. Not even twenty four hours and the bastard knew they were in the vicinity. "We walked right into his trap."

"It's not a trap unless he wins Boss." She was too lost in her thoughts to pay any mind to Cho's words of wisdom, too busy watching Jane for signs of the usual emotional shutdown. She really hated seeing him when he looked so broken and confused. It just seemed strange and yet she knew that was the man who lingered underneath his playful attitude. He didn't hide as much in her presence anymore but she had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her this changed things. Red John trying to use her against him was going to change everything. She could feel it and she didn't like it - it left a bad taste in her mouth.

The woman lying on the bed didn't look any older than maybe twenty-five, pretty dark hair pulled back into a braid. With every one of his victims it was the same - his signature. The amount of blood made her lose her appetite, she hadn't even really been hungry to begin with but she really wasn't now. All she could think of was the video - of Jane. The man who appeared to be studying the scene but she knew he was more or less simply staring and not seeing. He was reliving that moment he'd found his family - she could see it in his eyes.

Determination shining in her eyes, she took a step towards him and lightly touched his elbow with one finger. It was enough to pull him back, his head jerking around to meet her soft gaze.

"Jane,"

"M'fine." She didn't believe him, he didn't even believe himself and she could see that. Neither of them were 'fine', but when he shrugged away from her and headed for the door, she simply inhaled deeply and prepared for another battle with herself, with Jane and with Red John.

**a/n: I'm dead tired, I'm feeling a bit of nausea but it's from working myself up. It's that uncomfortable fluttering feeling you get when you're really nervous. Anyway, the next chapter has the video in it and what they find when they watch it. Woo! I'm trying to expand my characterizations a bit which is why I took on Cho for this chapter. Generally I include hardly any of the team or none at all and I want to start fixing that, so yeah. **


	6. The Plan

**Disclaimer: After so many chapters on so many stories, you run out of witty remarks. Don't own it.**

**A/N: This is my favorite chapter. I say that and then after you read you're seriously going to think...well just read. Here ya go, enjoy!**

The air between them had grown tense and Lisbon was scared of it. She knew to give Jane some space, he always needed some time but he'd promised to quit doing this and she'd thought he had. Even during their last Red John case, he'd struggled but he had let her be there after she'd forced her way through his barriers. She couldn't understand why he hadn't said anything to her since he'd left the scene. Going back to their room for the night hadn't seemed to help. He just changed into his pajamas and pulled the DVD from her bag.

Her heart sank just at the sight of the thing. She felt sick at the thought of watching it but she knew it was a must. There could be some kind of damning evidence on it, a location maybe. His eyes met hers, a darkness brimming in his gaze as he moved over to the TV. Lisbon watched him, his back facing her as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it into her bag. She gave another quick glance around the room for any type of hidden camera before feeling comfortable enough to step up behind Jane.

She was hesitant in her movements, slowly resting her palms against his back and trailing them around to settle low on his stomach as she pressed her face between his shoulder blades. She needed some reassurance that he wasn't shutting her out after they'd made so much progress. She'd dealt with him before when he tried to close himself off, she'd managed to get through to him then and she'd manage again if that's what it took. She was just hoping that they wouldn't have to reach that point.

"Patrick..." Giving him a soft kiss through the fabric of his shirt, she turned her cheek and hugged him tighter. She was attempting to let him know that she wanted to talk but when he shrugged out of her hold, a sense of dread overtook the warmth she'd been feeling. He mistook her affections for something else.

"We have to watch it Teresa, I'm sorry but you're just going to have to suck it up." The clipped tone of his voice had her slightly recoiling in shock as he threw himself on the bed and fiddled with the remote. It took her a few minutes to realize what he'd said and then she couldn't help but get a little angry. She wasn't trying to get out of watching it, she knew it was crucial to the investigation and how dare he suggest that she'd ever do something to thwart a case simply because she was embarrassed.

"That's not what...I was just..." She didn't know how to say that she just needed a little reassurance, a little comfort of her own after the grisly scene they'd arrived to, the welcome note. All the things flashing in her mind had her just wanting a few seconds of being a woman wrapped in a loving embrace. Just a few seconds before reality came crashing back - that's all she'd wanted. "Forget it."

She didn't pay attention as the screen flickered, choosing to finish undressing and slipping into the shirt that she'd claimed as hers during their last Red John trip. She simply tried to drown out the sounds when he pressed play and slipped into the bed next to him. His jaw was set, mouth forming a thin line as a moan echoed from the television. She watched him, the way his eyes changed from gentle one second to full of hatred the next. His harsh words rang in her ears, repeating themselves over and over in her head until she couldn't look at him anymore. Rolling on her side, she burrowed deeper into the blankets and closed her eyes, tears leaking out through her lashes as she wished she could shut off her ability to hear.

There were several seconds of no movement from either side of the bed as the sounds of two people fully immersed in each other in every way possible sounded from the speakers. Lisbon couldn't help but hate it. She'd never realized that most of the time, she was the one to make noise and although she wasn't embarrassingly vocal, she still hated hearing herself.

It wasn't until Jane's hand caressed her hip beneath the blanket that she sighed and knew he'd already been forgiven for the way he'd lashed out. He knew it too and she silently cursed herself for having a weak spot for him. She couldn't be mad about this, it made sense that they'd try to take out their frustrations on each other but she didn't have to approve.

"Teresa, look at the TV." She didn't want to but she turned and opened her eyes to see a bright red number in the top left hand corner of the screen. Jane was already searching for a pen and paper in the nightstand on his side of the bed. Her interest was piqued, her eyes glued to that small section of the screen to notice the number was changing from a six to a one.

"It's changing. Six, one, three..." She was rattling off the numbers and Jane was writing them down on a small scrap of paper he'd found with a phone number for a local pizza place advertised on the front of it. "...five, two."

The numbers disappeared, Jane looked up to see why she'd stopped speaking and realized it. There was a pause as both of them caught site of the figures on the screen moving together as one, their bodies pressed so tightly together that not even air could get through. Lisbon instinctively scooted closer to him, trying to pull her eyes away but it was the moment that held her that little second where the two on the DVD ceased all movement. She watched helplessly as she remembered exactly how that moment had felt. The way her eyes had opened to lock onto his as she gave in to the desire. The passion of that small moment was forever ingrained into her brain as 'their first' and watching it play out on a filthy television screen in a cheap motel didn't do it justice.

Feeling slightly sick, she turned her face into Jane's arm and mumbled a string of curses at the man who'd been behind the camera. She only turned back when the pencil in his hand started moving again. Words this time filling the screen as the video was stopped, frozen in time. Reading as fast as she could, she recited them in her head to link it together. West. Addison. Road. An address, it was an address and suddenly she felt the dread she'd been feeling intensify ten fold as the man she loved got that look in his eye.

More words in red, telling him to come alone.

_Wednesday. 6 pm._

_Come alone Mr. Jane or she'll be my next conquest. It's time to end this_.

She could see it flicker in his eyes, that initiative - the drive - burning in him reigniting and she knew. She undoubtedly knew that he was going to hurt her before this was over but she wasn't strong enough to let him go before that happened. She'd known from the second they kissed for the very first time that he'd be her undoing. She'd known from the first tender touch, the first time having sex that she'd have to suffer through tough times, enough to outweigh the good but she'd still let this happen. She'd been letting it happen for so long because she loved him and that would probably be her downfall.

"Patrick, we're going with you." Lisbon had hoped and prayed through the months that he'd give up the quest for revenge but she knew she was a fool for thinking he would. She wasn't important enough for him to give up something he'd been chasing so long and in the back of her mind, she was a little okay with that. He was doing it to avenge the family he'd lost and though she didn't agree, she understood. "Don't do this."

"He'll run again if any of you come. Any cops and he'll be gone. I have to Lisbon." A shiver shook her body at the sound of her last name falling from his lips. She was Teresa to him now, had been for months and when they weren't working she was only 'Lisbon' when they were being playful. It stung to hear it in this situation.

"No, no you don't. Don't be stupid Jane!" The taste of his surname on her tongue was sickening, she'd grown so used to 'Patrick' despite struggling with it in the beginning. "Wednesday is a day away, we'll get him before that and if we don't then we'll all go. It's not up for discussion."

The video had stopped, the screen going gray and fuzzy signaling that the message was over. Lisbon didn't wait for him to turn off the television, she flopped back to her side of the bed and forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. They'd been happily ignorant just a day ago, she missed that. They lived together now and she didn't want to find out how it felt to help him move back out.

"Teresa..." Now even the sound of her first name stung. The tone he used was too soft and pleading. "I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

"I don't want _you _to get hurt because of _you_. I'll handcuff you to damn steering wheel of the SUV if I have to."

"I'd find a way out." The playfulness in his tone doesn't improve the mood and he really hadn't expected it to - just figured it was worth a shot. "I moved in with you because I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon. I need you to trust me on this."

Turning her head to stare incredulously at him, she noticed the softness of his gaze and almost gave in to the urge to roll onto him - force him to see things her way through the art of seduction but she didn't. Two things stopped her. One being that she was never having sex in a motel room ever again and the other being that it'd be wrong to use something intimate to get her way in a time like this.

"I do trust you but you're insane if you think I'm going to let you walk in some random place, unarmed, to face a serial killer. You even try it and I'll be there before you can even get through the door, got it? I'm not letting you go on a suicide mission. I'm not helpless, you don't need to try and protect me. We agreed when we started this relationship that if I was target then I was a target whether we were involved or not."

"But I..."

"No. End of story. You are to stay with someone at all times, preferably me. I'll tell the team the same thing so don't even try. We'll go to the address in the morning, case the place and see if there's anything there. We could get lucky." Her words proved she was upset with him for even considering something so stupid and with an exasperated sigh, she was turning away from him to face the wall. She didn't understand at all, she didn't know why he couldn't see that they could surround the place in seconds, cover all exits and get the man once and for all without anyone having to try and play hero. Of all people to accept that roll, she'd never expected Jane to be the one.

The anger was pushed from her mind by the exhaustion pulling at her body, tugging it into sleep as she let out one last aggravated sigh. Jane was watching her, she felt it but then her brain went blank as the worries slipped away for the time being. She still had enough sense to roll back towards him and grab hold of his shirt. Just in case he tried to slip away and do his own investigating. Finally content that he wasn't moving, she gave in.

Jane wasn't exactly angry but he certainly wasn't happy with the woman trying to keep him from doing what was right. He'd seen the question lingering in her gaze every day that they spent together as a couple, even before that really. The one she'd never voice because she didn't feel as though she had the right to make him choose. She wouldn't do it and yet he almost wanted her to. She thought he'd hate her if she flat out told him it was her or Red John but if anything he'd respect her a little more. It'd prove that she had the stamina and guts to deal with whatever trouble he tossed her way.

She was mad at him, he knew it but he wouldn't apologize and he wouldn't try to make it better. He knew she had the gun, he knew she could take care of herself but this was Red John and that terrified him. He knew he wasn't exactly much for protection but he had to try. He loved her and he didn't want to see her get hurt or worse because he obeyed her orders. He'd go alone. He had to but he had no idea what would happen then.

The rage towards the monster who killed his family and taunted him was still there, it'd always be there but he didn't know if he could kill him. He wasn't sure he could do it now. It'd never been a problem to think about before but Lisbon would be so disappointed in him, their relationship would end and he'd be behind bars - not that a prison would hold him long. That wasn't the point, she'd still be an officer of the law and he'd be a fugitive. He wouldn't be able to visit her ever again. Was he prepared to give up everything he had with her, everything they'd worked so hard to build for murder? For his form of justice?

Even with frustration boiling in his veins - directed at the woman who even while in that blissful state between sleep and wake looked worried - he found himself pressing his lips to her forehead in apology and pulling her closer. She had his shirt balled up in her fists, her way of keeping him from wandering off. It hurt him that she felt the need but he understood. He'd just practically told her he'd go alone and didn't want her help so he understood.

Running a hand up her back, he let his cheek rest against hers and let out a shaky breath. He knew if he went alone it was kill or be killed, he knew that but for the moment, it's the only plan he had. The only other thing swimming around in his head was going in alone but having backup waiting just far enough away to be unseen but something told him that a plan like that would fail. Somehow Red John would know. He'd try thinking of something else, just for her sake but when it came down to six in the evening on Wednesday he was going to do what he had to because he loved her and there was no doubt in his mind that if Red John intended to claim her as a victim then he'd succeed in doing so.

They'd seen countless times how connected and methodical the beast could be. Kissing Lisbon's ear, and whispering a quiet 'I love you', Jane let himself revel in her warmth. It could be gone soon, he could ruin everything and he had to take it in before that happened. He hadn't ever told her those three words before and he felt like a coward for waiting until she was sleeping but if they made it out of this, it'd be the first thing he'd say to her.

**Next up: "Teresa, I need to talk to you." She watched him expectantly until he let his eyes dart to the officers around her. "Alone."**


	7. The Fear

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

**A/N: I am SO sorry for the huge delay in this one. I've almost finished my Secret Santa things so hopefully I'll get all those done soon so I can get back to my stories. :D**

Waking alone wasn't that odd of a thing for Lisbon; she knew that Jane still suffered from insomnia and tended to spend his restless mornings making her breakfast or sitting up in her living room watching something mindless on the television but it took her seconds after opening her eyes to remember. They weren't in her apartment, it was still dark out and with the words that'd been exchanged the night before, she immediately bolted up into a sitting position and willed her eyes to cooperate in the dim lighting. Green orbs darted around the room frantically, her heart beat wildly in her chest at the thought of where he might have run off to. If he went to find Red John on his own then she'd never forgive herself for falling asleep and giving him that opportunity.

"Calm down, I'm here." Jerking around to peer into the corner next to the window, a sigh of relief escaped her lungs. He was perched in a chair, staring out a little portion of the glass he'd uncovered. The shadows the moonlight cast over his face gave the entire scene a saddened feel that somehow matched their moods. "You really think I'd just leave?"

"I don't know anymore Patrick." Her voice was low, thick with sleep and holding just a tiny hint of vulnerability. It didn't shock either of them; neither did her words. Just days ago, they were happy and now look at them. Bordering on miserable but for the moment they still had each other and Lisbon wouldn't let that go just because of some harsh words and painful truths.

Feeling slightly chilly underneath the covers alone, she pushed them back and placed her feet on the floor. The thin fabric of his shirt did little for protection from the blast of cold air but when he turned towards her - the light reflecting tree branch patterns on his face - she suddenly felt warmer. There was something in his gaze that told her not to worry and though she knew that she should keep up her guard when they were so close to Red John, she felt it slipping. Of all the men in the world that she could've fallen in love with, why this one? She wasn't complaining really; it was great to be held by him, kissed and touched but their relationship had so many bumps.

There was no telling if they'd make it out of this intact and that's what had her so scared. She didn't want to lose him to Red John; no matter how selfish that really seemed. She was hoping for the best. Hoping with all her might that he wouldn't go to that address alone and that he wouldn't start pushing her away again.

Unable to stand it any longer, she closed the distance between them to stand directly within arms reach. His hand touched her thigh without either of them being aware until his finger wrapped around the back of it to urge her closer. She was still a bit uncomfortable with the idea of intimate contact but swallowing down the fear of being watched, she slowly stepped closer.

"Don't be afraid Teresa." It didn't even bother her anymore that he knew what she was feeling; she knew she wanted his warmth and with a practised ease, she straddled his legs. Dropping down in his lap, Lisbon let her face press against his shoulder as his arms pulled her in closer. It was the soothing sensation of his fingers buried in her hair that made her forget certain aspects of the argument they'd had before falling asleep; like her anger with him.

They stayed like that; drawing comfort from each other without using anything other than gripping hands. They didn't say anything. Both of them were too afraid that words would only lead them back to arguing over safety and neither wanted that. When Lisbon turned her face into his neck, Jane shifted his legs around and somehow managed to prop them up on the window sill. Both were aware that the position wasn't the most comfortable for him but for Lisbon it was quite nice to sag against him and completely relax while hugging him close. The fact that her feet didn't touch the ground while sitting in his lap left her feeling semi amused but it was nothing to laugh about; it was just something to keep her mind occupied on things other than the dread that had made itself at home in the pit of her stomach.

Wrapped in the warm embrace, Lisbon never suggested that they move back to the bed and neither did Jane despite the uncomfortable ache building in his legs. The last thought she had before drifting back to sleep with the pounding of his heart as her lullaby was that he couldn't leave this way. He would have to physically move her and just before everything went black, she made a note to repeat the position early Wednesday morning.

* * *

Working with local PD was never really fun for anyone but Jane generally found it amusing. New people to mess with and such but not this time, not with a Red John case and not when he'd learned from one of the rookie officers that Lisbon had sent the team to investigate the address they'd found on the video. She hadn't told him. She'd kept it to herself and as he spotted her talking with the Sheriff, he couldn't help but have the urge to just scream at her. She knew how important this case was to him and she was keeping secrets. Seething explained Jane's emotions pretty well when he'd found out and it'd only taken him minutes to find her. Some things needed to be cleared up. He'd wanted to be there when they searched the place. Red John liked riddles, things no one really understood or thought was too important and he just knew they'd miss something. It didn't matter that this was Rigsby, Van Pelt and Cho, he didn't trust others when it came to the place the man who'd murdered his family might be hiding.

He wasn't trying to necessarily accuse them of being unable to do their jobs but he was good with finding things that others looked over. Lisbon knew that; she knew and still she'd chose to lie about it. Had their understanding early that morning meant nothing? He'd thought that she finally got it, that she realized he was only trying to keep her safe. He couldn't fake a happy smile on this day, couldn't pretend to give a damn about the conversation she was immersed in and with a tug of her elbow, he spun her around.

"Teresa, I need to talk to you." She watched him expectantly until he let his eyes dart to the officers around her. "Alone."

She looked perplexed and it only made his blood boil. She was acting as though she had no idea why he was shooting daggers at everyone who walked by or why most of those looks happened to be directed at her for the moment. Alas, she followed him without question when he grasped her hand and pulled her towards one of the observation rooms next to interrogation. The woman was only quiet so long and it ended the second he stepped into the small room behind her and locked the door.

"What's going on?"

"Why would you do that to me?" Her brow scrunched in confusion but he was too busy pacing to notice.

"Do what?"

"Think _Lisbon_," There was a flash of hurt across her face and he knew it was from the venom he'd put into her surname. "Where's the rest of the team?"

Watching the recognition show in her features, her body was quite satisfying but at the same time it was just painful. He didn't want to be mad at her and he didn't want her to be hurt by him but there was a tightness in his throat that just couldn't be ignored. This was Red John. This was his case and she was keeping secrets.

"It's not what you're thinking-"

"Oh well then please enlighten me." Warm hands grabbed his arms, stilling his movements and her small frame stepped closer. Those eyes that he loved to study were soft and almost filled with sorrow; the anger he was feeling lessened.

"They're doing a preliminary sweep as we speak and you and I are going to join them. I couldn't find you or we would've already been there - didn't you hear your phone? I tried calling." He hadn't but then he'd been more occupied and a quick pat to his jacket pocket informed him that he didn't even have the piece of technology with him. He must've left it in their room or he'd lost it somewhere. Either way it wasn't on his person and he was left feeling like an ass.

"I thought you were keeping it from me."

"I wouldn't do that even if I wanted to and trust me when it comes to this case, I want to sometimes." The tone of her voice had him feeling even worse. He'd obviously misjudged the situation and it was all his fault anyway. "I thought I said you were to stay with me at all times, or someone from the team; how'd you manage to wander off?"

"Bathroom."

"Patrick, I'm asking you again as your...whatever you want to call me - please don't try to confront Red John on your own. I'm not asking as a CBI agent, I'm not the boss right now, please?" The pleading that he could see in her eyes ripped through him, making him want nothing more than to say okay but he wouldn't risk her life and the video had told him to go alone or she'd be the next victim.

"He'll come after you if I don't."

"Not if we get him." Taking a step back, he moved away from her touch and shook his head. She was too stubborn. "Think about it rationally, who's to say he won't come after me anyway?"

"How 'bout we just join the team and see if there's anything there? I have a feeling us poking around will make him quite angry - maybe a little sloppy." Her words rang in his head over and over. She was pleading with him as his romantic partner, his girlfriend, his love. Whatever he wanted to call her, she'd said. Well he'd had to refrain many nights from whispering 'my love' in her ear; that's what she was to him. He just needed her to let it go; to let him do this his way to keep her safe. He had to protect her, even if that meant he had to hurt her in the process - although he was trying to avoid that outcome.

**a/n: Hi!**

**Next: _Tears were rolling down her cheeks, water sloshing at her feet and the only thing she could do was push herself forward through the rain. Her steps were slow, forced but she had to try; Jane was going to be livid._**


	8. The Tunnel

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not owning a thing.**

**A/N: ****I'm hoping I'll get this story finished up soon. It's not quite as long as Melt was so if I can get back into updating it frequently then I shoud be able to finish it up by mid August or so. Also, I included the ending of the last chapter since it took me so long to update. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I replied to those that I could and I'm sincerely hoping to hear from all of you again. :) I really got into this chapter...and I really shouldn't watch so many horror films but I love them.**

__

"Not if we get him." Taking a step back, he moved away from her touch and shook his head. She was too stubborn. "Think about it rationally, whose to say he won't come after me anyway?"

_"How 'bout we just join the team and see if there's anything there? I have a feeling us poking around will make him quite angry - maybe a little sloppy." Her words rang in his head over and over. She was pleading with him as his romantic partner, his girlfriend, his love. Whatever he wanted to call her, she'd said. Well he'd had to refrain many nights from whispering 'my love' in her ear; that's what she was to him. He just needed her to let it go; to let him do this his way to keep her safe. He had to protect her, even if that meant he had to hurt her in the process - although he was trying to avoid that outcome._

* * *

Red John wasn't stupid. He was brilliant and methodical and Lisbon knew to tread carefully; it was Jane she was worried about once they'd arrived at the rather small cabin-ish looking house that sat on a piece of land surrounded by trees. For some insane reason, she'd honestly been expecting something less homey feeling. Perhaps a warehouse or just an abandoned building of some sort. She hadn't expected to see the rather warm looking home but then again, Red John had a way of doing the unexpected.

Jane had wandered around behind her for several minutes whilst the rest of the team covered the grounds and she actually felt a bit sorry for them; it was raining something awful. The inside had already been cleared by the time they'd arrived because of Jane's little fit back at the precinct. She still couldn't believe that he thought she'd keep something so important from him. She really just wanted the hunt to be over just so she could have her Jane back. He wasn't the same during Red John cases and as ironic as it was considering they got together during one, she really disliked the way he acted sometimes. She wanted to shake him, beat some sense into him but it wouldn't work. He was still planning on confronting Red John alone; she could see it burning in his eyes.

She bit back the angry words that threatened to spill from her tongue. He was an idiot but she'd keep it to herself and let him think that he was getting away with it. There was no way she'd let him go by himself. Why couldn't he see that she was trying to protect him? Stubborn, egotistical, idiotic man.

"So, what do you make of it?" Work would keep her mind from thinking of how hurt she truly felt by his actions lately and maybe it'd keep him from saying something to make it worse. She wasn't in the mood to deal with his vengeance - not early in the day and certainly not while searching for something that could lead them to the man they'd captured once before and lost.

"It's not his home. It's been abandoned for years and he's just cleaned it up a bit - very recently."

"Does that mean anything?"

"Not necessarily. Just means that he was only using it for whatever is supposed to transpire tomorrow at six in the evening." He didn't say anything more but she knew he wanted to. She could just tell that he wanted to add something and it didn't take her long to become rather uncomfortable under his stare. In the months they'd been together, Lisbon had never felt so uncomfortable before and she wasn't sure that she could put up with it. She didn't want a relationship with him if that's how he was going to act just because she wouldn't let him go on a suicide mission. Was it so hard for him to understand that she was merely trying to keep him safe and most importantly, alive? "Teresa,"

"Let's not do this while working, just do your thing and come find me when you're done. I'm gonna swap places with Cho." She couldn't be in the room with him anymore without wanting to scream at him and make him see things her way, so she was taking an out. With her head down to hide how upset the whole thing actually made her, she opened the back door and beckoned for her second in command.

"Lisbon, please..."

"No, you don't get to do that Patrick. You don't get to just act as though everything is fine and dandy." She'd just broken one of her rules. She'd referred to him as 'Patrick' while supposedly working but it was his fault for trying to fix things that couldn't be fixed with his smooth words and sparkling eyes. "You want to be an idiot then fine but just stop trying to make it better with words and kisses that mean nothing."

Cho had chosen that exact moment to walk through the open doorway and both of them knew that if it wasn't already known that they were in a relationship, she would have just given it away. Even though they'd all seen the tape of her and Jane, she'd wanted to pretend they hadn't and her actually voicing their relationship made it impossible. It probably didn't make much sense but she didn't want to be talking about something as personal as kissing in front of her subordinates. It didn't matter that they'd seen her doing so much more to the consultant. The only thing she could do was awkwardly step around the men and out into the rain while simultaneously screaming at herself for being stupid enough to get so worked up while on the job.

She didn't care that her hair was plastered to her head in seconds or that she was surrounded by trees before she even realized it. She just needed a minute to collect herself and then she'd be fine. The voices of officers could be heard in the distance and she could still see the house where she'd left Jane when she let herself drop to a large log. Her fingers tangled in her hair, her head fell into her hands and she tried to decide if telling Jane that she loved him would change his mind or not. Everything was screwed up, including the fact that she was in love with him. Even after so many months, it was still screwed up to love someone who seemed fine with the idea of walking into a death trap.

There really wasn't anyway she could look at it and find something good or noble about the act. Some would probably swoon over the fact that he was willing to meet a psycho alone just to protect them but she knew that was a load of bullshit. He wasn't doing it to protect her; he was doing it because he wanted revenge and even if it had been for her protection, she would've still considered him an idiot. She didn't need to be protected, she needed to know that he'd still be alive when this was over. He was such a selfish man.

The feel of the rain drenching through her clothes only seemed to cement the fact that he had her way too involved. She didn't mind the wet uncomfortable feel because she barely even registered it but the sound of water droplets hitting the tops of trees and ground was almost soothing. It almost relaxed her but after several minutes of just sitting, she was tensing again and pushing up from her seated position. She quickly took in her surroundings and moved to her left in search of a couple officers; she'd join them for a bit before going back to face Jane.

The down pour was lifting, the drops of water becoming less and less by each passing moment but she wasn't much for noticing anything other than the twigs snapping beneath her shoes as she stepped with determination. Her hand hovered over her gun and her eyes stayed peeled just in case but she hadn't realized that the danger wasn't lurking around her but underneath. When she placed her foot down for the umpteenth time, the ground beneath opened up and before she could even let out a scream, she had fallen through with leaves and mud following after her.

Her body hit something solid, knocking the air from her lungs and leaving her groaning and clutching her shoulder in pain. The groan turned into sputtering and coughing when the mud from above collapsed in on her. Slowly, she rolled and attempted to push herself up but a burst of pain shooting up her arm stopped her. Sucking in a few ragged breaths and biting her lip to keep from crying out, she used just one arm to work herself into a standing position. There She could barely see anything but it looked as though there was a tunnel directly in front of her. It wasn't something recent, she could tell by the fact that the walls were not made of earth but stone.

Reaching out to touch just to be sure, she felt the cool slightly rough texture beneath her fingertips and couldn't help but wonder where the hell she was. With a glance up towards the hole she'd fallen through, she sighed and knew that she needed to find a way out. Her hand didn't move from her holster as she very cautiously started through the dark tunnel. One step and she decided to pull the weapon just in case; she was limping and she could literally feel her left shoulder swelling so if someone happened to sneak up on her, she wasn't in the best shape to fight them off. Having a gun as her guidance somehow just made her feel better in the pitch black and with another step, she heard a crunch and snap. It scared her, made her jump but once she realized the sound originated from beneath her foot, she calmed a bit and glanced down as if she'd be able to see something.

The only light came from the hole she'd made and it didn't quite reach to where she was and with a quick decision, she crouched down and let her free hand find the object she'd managed to break. For some reason she thought it might be important or evidence or something but when she backtracked to step into the light, she immediately bit back a frustrated groan. This was not her day. There in the palm of her hand, screen busted, was her cell phone. It wouldn't have worked underground anyway but she really loved that phone. Shoving it in her pocket caused more pain to her arm and she could feel it starting to numb, she was losing control of it.

With her throbbing arm skimming along the wall and her weapon out in front of her, she clumsily made her way forward. Losing track of time was rather easy but she assumed she'd been wandering aimlessly for a good five or six minutes by the time she rounded a corner and was greeted by a light at - what she assumed was -the end. It gave whole new meaning to 'light at the end of the tunnel' but the closer she got the more she came to realize what that light could mean. If this was where Red John wanted to meet with Jane then for all she knew, this was where he was hiding and she was alone and injured. Great planning on her part, she should have just tried to climb back out the way she'd come in.

It wasn't too late, she could turn back and attempt to climb. If she managed to get out then she could gather reinforcements and show them where she'd fallen through. Perhaps they'd find an easier entrance - the one she'd found wasn't exactly comfortable and she wasn't going to be recommending falling through the ground as a great entrance to anyone anytime soon. The fact that a dark tunnel that reeked of creepy had been what caught her only seemed to make things all the more worse. The rain had probably softened the ground and caused the cave in but she didn't really have time to think of such unimportant weather related matters when her heart was racing out of discomfort and fear of what might be lurking in the light she could see and the shadows she couldn't.

Underground would be the perfect hiding place for someone who was running from the law and she knew that if she didn't find a way out then she'd probably end up finding a serial killer unless he was out and about for something. She was a CBI agent, a member of law enforcement but she was still biting down the fear she could feel bubbling. It was a human reaction that couldn't be taken away by status or job titles. The adrenaline it sent pumping through her system was still there despite having a gun and the only good thing about it was the fact that it kept her on high alert.

The hand she had touching the stone wall was numbed, she couldn't feel it anymore but she could her fingers brushing her thigh. She attempted to wiggle her fingers and knew that she'd most likely dislocated her shoulder in the fall or pinched something. Of all the times to wish she was still curled up in her bed with Jane by her side, this was one for the books. She was starting to panic, her breathing was becoming labored but she kept pushing forward with her gun drawn. The light was only a few feet away and with each cautious step, she eliminated those few feet.

She hid in the shadows, letting her eyes roam what the light illuminated and the dread she'd felt in the pit of her stomach kicked up a notch. There was a cot over in the corner of what she assumed was a make-shift room. Another tunnel directly straight ahead but she'd have to walk through and she hadn't assessed the other side yet but she could hear something. Moving to press herself to the opposite wall of the passageway, she let her gaze search the newly revealed other half and found herself facing the back of a man. He was sitting at a desk that looked to be new which told her there had to be an exit somewhere. He was also getting electricity from somewhere - her guess, a generator. There were monitors in front of him but she couldn't quite make out what was on them. The smart thing to do would be to retreat but she wasn't sure she could get out that way and the only other option was walking right behind him.

The cop in her took over. She had the advantage in this situation; she had the upper hand. She'd literally fallen into place at the right time and she just wanted this all to end. She wanted her Patrick Jane back and she was going to get him. There was no backup - no way to even call for it but she had to try. That was her motto for the day 'had to try'. With silent steps, she crept up behind the man with her gun positioned for his head.

It felt good to be one step ahead for once.

"Don't move." Her voice didn't sound like her own but it was still commanding enough to get the job done.

"Ah, Agent Lisbon. I was wondering how long it'd take you in the dark."

"Hands behind your head." She was not going to be pulled into his mind games. One ounce of distraction and he'd have the opportunity to gain control.

"Have a fight with dear Patrick?"

"Shut up and put your hands where I can see them." Her mind was suddenly reeling. How'd he know about her fight or that she'd been wandering around in the dark? She couldn't play into his words but when her eyes quickened a glance over him, she didn't have to. The screens in front of him were his way of watching. She could see Jane and Cho in one corner while Rigsby and Grace were in another. He had cameras watching them all and she found herself thinking back to how she'd felt when she'd seen the video of her and Jane having sex. It was disgusting to think your every move was being watched.

There were more screens and three at the bottom were filled with what she assumed were the tunnels. Night vision cameras were obviously being used - the green tint of the picture gave it away - and she hadn't been able to see them. She'd thought she had the upper hand and yet again, Red John was ahead. He was smart, she'd give him that.

"Such interesting creatures - humans. Don't ya think?" He wasn't moving, he hadn't put his hands up like she'd demanded and instinctively, she took a cautious step back. He'd known she was coming which meant he had something planned. "I really didn't expect to see you falling through the ground today. Must admit I was surprised."

He was calm and it scared her even more but she hid her fear and circled around until she was at his side. He turned then, offering her a grin that churned her stomach. His hands were folded neatly in his lap and she knew that he had something hidden. She should have climbed back out.

"You won't shoot me. You can't do that to him." He jerked his head towards the screen and she made the mistake of letting her eyes flicker away to glance at Jane's moving figure on the screen for a split second. She knew better, she did and yet she'd done it and in that second, he'd abruptly pushed up from the chair and slammed her back into the wall with the weight of his body pinning her and a blade against her neck. The gun she'd been gripping tightly was being held outward by one of his hands and she felt the pain shooting through her at the way he was clutching her wrist. She shouldn't have wandered off. She should have stayed with Jane in the house.

The blood supply to her hand was cut off and she could feel her fingers cramping. Reflex slackened her grip and the gun dropped. She was left with nothing but she wasn't the type to give up and although her body was screaming from the first abuse, she carefully plotted out her moves.

"I'm not gonna kill you, Teresa. Too easy and then everything I've planned goes down the drain." His words weren't something she was going to believe and the fact that she found herself pinned to a wall with a knife pressed tightly to her throat did nothing to make her feel safe. She'd played right into his hands. She'd let thoughts of her romantic partner distract her for a split second. This was why relationships within the unit were so frowned upon.

She let him drone on with his 'plans' and 'logic' waiting for the perfect moment to fight. If she tried to get away too soon, it would only injure her further and she wanted to be capable of getting out of whatever the hell she'd fallen into.

"I could keep you but it'll be harder on him if I let you go. I do ask that you give my best wishes to Patrick Jane and let him know that I can't wait to have fun with you." She wasn't necessarily paying attention to anything he was saying but she caught that and couldn't help but wonder how he planned to get away. He'd shifted around, giving her a little wiggle room and that was a mistake on his part - he wasn't getting away this time.

"Go to Hell." With a burst of force, she drew her knee up to his groin and simultaneously wrenched her hand free from his hold. She felt the knife cut into her neck, felt the warmth of her blood slipping out when she moved but it was a price she had to pay for freedom and it wasn't deep enough to kill her.

Without wasting a free second, she lunged for her gun while he was doubled over but didn't quite make it before he'd grabbed her hair and jerked her back. She was already in pain, did the bastard really have to make it worse? A cry ripped from her lips but she wrestled herself free and felt her hand clasp the familiar shape of her service weapon. She fired off a shot the second she could and the howl he let out was rather satisfying. She had only aimed to maim and managed to hit him in the arm but it was enough to briefly gain control and that's all she needed.

Her body hurt but she ignored it and pushed up with enough energy to effectively tackle him to the ground. The blade he'd been gripping flew from his hand and she allowed herself a brief smirk of accomplishment while tugging her cuffs free and clasping one around his wrist and the other around a bar on the cot. Just out of spite and hatred, she tightened the cuff around his wrist until he winced and then she quickly moved away before he got the chance to do something.

Grabbing the knife from the floor, she let her eyes trace along the bar he was cuffed to to make sure there was no way to slip it off. Her neck was burning, her left shoulder she couldn't feel, the back of her head hurt, her left leg was stiff and achy and but she was breathing and most of her pains hadn't even come from the scuffle.

"Should have killed me when you had the chance." Ignoring the bull spilling from his mouth, she took a minute to catch her breath and pressed her fingers to her neck. The stinging caused a hiss and she let herself stare at the man in disgust. He'd taken so many lives. They'd caught him once before and he'd got away but not this time. "You look so much better without clothes, don't worry, we'll get to share some quality time soon."

"In your sick and twisted dreams." The handcuffs rattled when he tried to get loose but no luck on his part. She couldn't believe what she'd just done. She'd caught Red John and the only thing she needed to do now was get some help. There had to be a door of some kind and she was going to find it. They could go home after this, she could take Patrick to 'their' home and fall asleep next to him just like she wanted because it was over. Throwing one last glance over her shoulder to see that he had his hand pressed to his shoulder, she felt secure enough to try to find a way out.

Even with a limp, she swiftly made her way over to the darkened passageway that she hadn't had the chance to explore yet and with just a few steps, she was submersed in the black. She felt pretty confident with a knife and gun although she didn't intend to need either but just in case something was lurking, just in case Red John still had a pawn. She kept glancing back as she continued forward until she turned a corner and there was nothing to glance back at. Hurrying as fast as she could - which wasn't very fast - she tried to quicken her steps.

It felt as though she walked and walked and the pain shooting up from her ankle only made the trek seem longer but it was probably only about a ten minute journey before her hand hit something out in front of her, something that felt wooden. Feeling around for a handle of some sort, she let a tear spill over when her fingers wrapped around something that twisted. She tugged but nothing happened so she pulled harder until it creaked and gave in to the strength of her tug. It wasn't a door like she'd assumed but it led out and she didn't mind having to drag herself out through an opening that had put her legs to the test. The fresh air hit her senses and she sucked in a deep breath.

Leaves and twigs poked at her skin until she forced herself up and glanced around. She had no idea where she was but she was going to yell and search until she found someone. The rain was still falling but considerably less than it had been when she'd managed to fall; she wasn't even sure how long it'd been. Had anyone noticed she'd disappeared yet? Watching her step, she headed back around the space she'd crawled out of.

It took only minutes for her adrenaline to wear off and the emotions to catch up. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, water sloshing at her feet and the only thing she could do was push herself forward through the rain. Her steps were slow, forced but she had to try; Jane was going to be livid. She'd spent the day questioning their relationship but right in that moment she could only realize that she wanted to be in his arms more than anything. Bloody and bruised, she yelled out for help in hopes to get a response but she couldn't hear anything.

Lost in trees, hurt and aching, Lisbon kept walking and yelling thinking the quicker she could get to someone - the quicker they could get back to that tunnel.

****

Next:

_****__She felt alone and cold. There were no warm arms wrapping around her, no hand offering to hold hers, no warm loving kiss and just no Jane anywhere. She'd known going into a relationship with him that there was a huge probability of being hurt in some way but she'd ignored the warning bells and jumped in anyway. This was as much her fault as it was his._


	9. The Guilt

**Disclaimer: Well, I'm a broke college kid...you figure it out.**

**A/N: I know, gasp, shock...I updated something consistently besides United! I was amazed too, so feel free to show your astonishment. That being said, I don't really have much to type here...Enjoy the update. I tried to kinda make Lisbon's thoughts ramble a bit since she's on pain medication. Whenever they put me on 'the good stuff' I never can think straight and sometimes I'm just plain loopy. Oh and I wanted to write some Lisbon and Cho interaction so that's why this chapter only has dialogue for those two...and a doctor.**

There was only so much to be said about sitting in a hospital, caked in mud with your arm wrapped in a sling and not knowing if anyone found the tunnel you'd told them about. Why it was insisted that she be thoroughly examined, Lisbon didn't know and she'd protested something fierce when the ambulance had arrived. It was Cho's doing; she'd have a talk with him after she was cleared to leave. The results of X-rays had yet to come back but she didn't really care. They'd popped her shoulder back into place and given her something for pain so she felt somewhere in the vicinity of fine but apparently they thought she'd broken something in the fall. She just wanted to know if they'd found Red John yet. She hadn't been too pleased when her team had kept her occupied with questions until a medic was on scene.

It wasn't until she'd been listening to the doctor drone on about keeping the cut on her neck clean and bandaged that she'd realized they'd done it to keep her from hiking back through the trees in her condition. Besides her shoulder and neck, she was pretty much okay but they hadn't seen it that way - 'they' meaning Cho and Van Pelt. Rigsby had been off talking with some officers and Jane...well, Jane had disappeared pretty much as soon as the words Red and John slipped passed her lips. He didn't ask what had happened to her; Van Pelt had covered that question as soon as she'd seen her. Jane had just let his hand caress her cheek for two brief seconds, and as soon as more of the officers took off in the direction she pointed out, he was gone.

It didn't surprise her and she understood that he'd rather partake in a search for the serial killer who murdered his family instead of sitting around with her but the woman in her missed him. She'd blame the painkillers later but it was human nature to miss someone you'd been practically sharing a home with for close to six months. She wasn't mad at him for not showing concern and demanding to know exactly what had happened. His eyes had darkened enough to let her know that he was indeed angry and worried about her injuries. The brief touch had been due to the rules she'd set in motion - at least she hoped that was the reason he'd hesitated to touch her. Hopefully it wasn't due to the arguments they'd been having sporadically.

For the hundredth time, she counted the seconds that ticked by and stared at the cellphone in her hands; hers was ruined but she was holding Van Pelt's and waiting for an update of some sort. It seemed as though it'd been forever but the clock told her it'd only been about two hours. That was still a long time and it left her feeling a sense of dread forming in the pit of her stomach. What the hell was taking so long?

Unable to stand not knowing, she dialed a familiar number and waited for Cho's voice to come through. She was muttering to herself by the third ring, chanting 'come on' over and over until he answered with a short 'Cho'.

"What's going on?" Straight to the point - she was too cranky for anything else. She also felt kinda loopy and really tired but she knew it was just from the pain meds. "Did you find the entrance to the tunnel?"

_"Yeah we found it but we didn't find Red John."_

"What? Please tell me you're joking." The silence told her all and immediately she regretted her actions. "That's impossible, I had him cuffed."

_"The cuffs were still there, he managed to get his hand out somehow."_

"I had it tightened Cho." Lifting her hand to her mouth, she chewed on her thumbnail for a few seconds as it fully hit her. She'd had Red John and lost him. She'd done it. It was her fault. "Dammit. How's Jane?"

For several moments there was a long pause and in that silence, Lisbon managed to work herself up into pacing. Limping while in the process, she asked again in a more demanding tone. Her brain was feeling fuzzy. She'd shot him, handcuffed him, and if they hadn't both needed medical attention then she would've just stayed down in that forsaken tunnel until someone stumbled upon it. She'd given the monster the chance to escape - not her wisest decision.

"Cho, can I talk to Jane?"

_"Boss..." _She heard a sigh and some voices in the background. One that sounded so much like the voice she was used to hearing whisper in her ear early in the mornings. _"He said he's busy but he'll talk to you later."_

A chill ran down her spine as her brow furrowed. He didn't want to talk to her; he wasn't busy. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that he couldn't spare two seconds just to talk to her on the phone. He was making it so much harder for her to understand what was happening to _them_. She'd just moved him into her home - it was a huge step - and she didn't want to have to move him back out but if things kept escalating, she just didn't know.

"Oh, uh okay. I need someone to come get me." She didn't divulge that she technically hadn't been cleared to leave yet but she knew she would be and she didn't want to wait around any longer than absolutely necessary for a ride. She'd really wanted Jane to pick her up but that obviously wasn't going to happen; he could be such a cold bastard. Luckily she didn't rely solely on him. Cho had her back and informed her that he'd be there in fifteen minutes.

Ending the call just as the doctor decided to make another appearance, Lisbon flashed a false smile and grimaced slightly when a throb coursed through her entire body. She was definitely going to be sore for awhile. The consequences of falling through something included the ache that made her feel as though she'd been hit by a truck. Even with the drugs in her system, she still hurt. She was just too rum-dumb to actually complain much and it wasn't as bad as it had been.

"So, can I leave yet?"

"Nothing is broken but your wrist and ankle are badly sprained. The dislocated shoulder..."

"I've dislocated my shoulder before. I know the routine and I remember everything you said about keeping the wound on my neck bandaged and clean." Ignoring the man's eye roll, she adjusted the sling holding her left arm captive before glancing up at him with a hopeful expression.

"I'll write out a prescription for something to help the pain and then you can be on your way." Her moment of triumph was short lived once she found herself thinking of her moment of failure. "I'm advising you to take it easy and stay off the ankle as much as possible."

"I'll take that into consideration." Take it easy? How the hell was she supposed to 'take it easy' with a serial killer on the loose knowing she'd given him the opportunity to escape? There would be no taking it easy until she was sure that Red John was behind bars for good. As much as it made her heart ache in her chest, she knew that Jane was probably mad at her for this. That was probably why he didn't want to talk to her but he could only play childish games so long; they shared a room so he'd have to face her eventually.

Adjusting her sling once again, she shifted uncomfortably and felt the pull in her achy muscles when she moved to take the small paper from the doc. She'd have the prescription filled just in case but she probably wouldn't take much - if any - of the meds. She couldn't drive if she took them and she hated feeling weighted down and groggy.

Crumpling the paper and shoving it into her pocket, she did her best to walk gracefully by the man practically glaring at her. It didn't work so well with a limp but she made it to the wheelchair a nurse had brought without much trouble. She hated this part of hospital policy. She didn't want to be wheeled around but she would admit that it was less painful but really what were the chances she'd end up falling before she made it to the doors? She didn't fight this, she was too tired and it'd just take longer to leave so she just kept her mouth shut although her gaze was set in a pretty lovely glare. This was just not her day.

* * *

The motion of the vehicle must have put her to sleep; it's the only logical answer she could come up with as to why her eyes were opening slowly and Cho was saying her name. With a visible grimace, she pushed herself up in the seat and glanced around blearily. Blinking rapidly several times to clear her vision, she frowned and turned to face the man next to her. This was all wrong. Was she dreaming?

"This isn't..."

"You're staying here to rest." She didn't know whether to be insulted that he knew what she was thinking or impressed. Although, she definitely wasn't feeling too impressed by the fact that he'd driven her back to the hotel.

"I need to be helping. I had him and he got away."

"It's not your fault." The words struck her, making her chest constrict but she wasn't sure she believed him. He was the first person to tell her that and whether it was the medication in her system or just the slew of unfortunate circumstances that caused her eyes to water, she didn't know.

"I'm still the boss..."

"And I'm the concerned friend; you're staying." Glancing down at her lap, she grumbled a bit and realized that was why he'd insisted they get her prescription filled immediately upon leaving the hospital despite her telling him that they had at least four hours before she could even take another dose.

"Is someone with Jane? How is he?"

"He's been underground since we found the entrance to the tunnel, only coming out randomly. Van Pelt's with him." It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her chest; she was so worried that he'd end up somewhere alone and then he'd do something stupid. She needed to know that he was with someone at all times since he seemed so determined to face Red John alone. Even if he was mad at her, she wanted him alive.

"The area is being canvased?"

"For the last two and a half hours." Cho was just as stubborn as she was and she knew it. There'd be no changing his mind and no matter how badly she wanted to be searching - wanted to make up for losing Red John - he wasn't planning on moving the vehicle as long as she was in it. "Boss, this isn't your fault."

"Thanks Cho. Will you tell Patrick that I'm sorry?" It didn't feel right to call him Jane this time. He was Patrick to her more than Jane now anyway and she hoped that she was still Teresa.

"No. You didn't do anything wrong." She wanted to protest and say that she had done something wrong but the look in his eyes told her that he honestly believed she was not at fault for anything that had transpired. It was that honesty that had her giving in, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door to climb out. She was feeling rather tired and she wasn't so sure she'd be able to stand much longer but the guilt pooling in her stomach left her feeling sick and she really wanted it to go away.

"At least tell him that I need to talk to him." When she got a curt nod, she felt a little better but until she actually talked to Jane then she had no idea if he was blaming her too. "Oh and let Van Pelt know that I'll give her phone back tonight."

"Will do." With a little push, she closed the car door and stood back. She gave a little wave as Cho drove away and left her stranded at the hotel. With nothing else to do, she limped off to the room she was sharing and came to the conclusion that perhaps Cho knew what he was talking about. Her ankle was beginning to throb from the pressure she was putting on it and probably wouldn't have done too well on rough terrain. It was still numb enough that she knew the drugs they'd given her for pain were working; it was just apparently not a good idea to walk long distances.

She felt a bit uneasy stepping into the room whilst recalling the last words that Red John had said to her but she pushed it away and made sure to lock the deadbolt behind her. Peeling the sling off, she slowly tried to straighten her arm. A groan fell from her lips but she managed just fine and dropped the sling on the bed. Her holster was next to go and found a home on the bedside table, then it was the shoes.

She thought about calling Jane but decided against it. If he didn't want to talk to her then so be it; she wasn't going to be desperate about the whole thing and leave him ten voice messages. She wasn't the kind and he knew she had Van Pelt's phone so if he actually wanted to then he could give her a call. Running her uninjured hand through her hair, she made a face at the feel of dried mud and realized she probably looked like she'd rolled with pigs. A bath would have to do. She didn't think she could stand long enough for a shower and lifting her left arm over her head just wasn't going to happen for another day or so.

Carefully wiggling out of her shirt, she let it drop unceremoniously next to the bed and let her good hand undo her pants. She managed to work them over her hips while walking to the bathroom. She stepped out of them in the doorway and didn't bother to pick them up. She just wanted to get the filth off of her and with only that in mind, she bent over the bathtub and turned on the water.

It took a few tries to get the temperature evened out and even more tries to get her bra unfastened while the tub filled but in the end, she won. Although conquering a bra clasp was a small feat compared to the one she'd accomplished down in that tunnel. Even though it obviously was short lived, it had been something she would never forget and a reminder would greet her everyday for the rest of her life. The mark on her neck would scar and forever taunt her with how she'd managed to get one up on Red John only for him to turn back around and escape. It just wasn't fair but life wasn't fair and all that jazz. She'd heard that saying too many times to count and it never made much sense to her. Why couldn't life be fair?

Watching the water rise, she shed the last piece of cloth covering her skin and let her thoughts wander over random topics. Her head felt kinda fuzzy; it was nice. She just wished it was fuzzy enough to erase her memory of the day...of the last several days to be exact. She wanted to forget it all and return to her sort of dysfunctional yet normal relationship with a man who was a cold bastard but also had a heart. She'd seen how caring he could be over the course of several months and she couldn't exactly fault him for being a bastard sometimes. In fact, she was jealous of how little he cared. Her life would have been so much easier if she'd had that capability. At the same time, she was glad that she tended to care too much. If she had his attitude then they never would have ended up in a relationship.

Tears filled her eyes at the thought of it possibly being over but she forced the lump in her throat back down as the water neared the top of the bath and told herself to suck it up. She'd known from the start that it could end horribly. They both had known and crying about it without actually knowing wouldn't make any sense. God, she really hated pain meds. They messed with her emotions as well as her thoughts.

A shiver coursed through her when she lowered herself into the hot water; she didn't think the temperature was right but she figured it was due to the fact that she was sitting in a tub alone which was something that hadn't happened often over the last several months. She felt alone and cold. There were no warm arms wrapping around her, no hand offering to hold hers, no warm loving kiss and just no Jane anywhere. She'd known going into a relationship with him that there was a huge probability of being hurt in some way but she'd ignored the warning bells and jumped in anyway. This was as much her fault as it was his.

The sloshing of the water eased her into a state of partial relaxation and helped calm her enough to take her bath without fretting about losing a man she'd always known didn't fully belong to her. This proved that he'd choose Red John. He was choosing Red John; he could be with her but he wasn't. He was out trying to find some new lead and she was left alone in a bathroom, gently rubbing soap into her battered skin. She never intended to ask him to choose and she still wouldn't. She had no intentions of being angry with him for being out there with the team instead of beside her. That wasn't what she wanted, she did not want to be fussed over and he was doing more good out there looking for Red John than bathing with her but she just didn't know where they stood anymore.

Everything was blurry, just like her head. It was all meshed together into one pile of confusion but he'd said that he'd talk to her later and that's what she was hanging onto. She didn't care what happened to _them _- well she did but it wasn't the most important thing at the moment - she just wanted to know if he was okay.

**a/n: I don't know why but I just thought it was very Lisbon for her to be injured and still worried about someone else who doesn't even have a scratch on him. That being said, next chapter will be mainly Jane's POV. Time to get in his head and figure things out...since I'm pretty sure he confuses everyone and not just Lisbon. Van Pelt also makes a dandy little appearance.**

**Next: _He'd been horrible. Absolutely despicable but it'd just hurt too much. It wasn't right and he knew that but he was a coward. He'd promised her. He had promised her and still it'd happened. This was all his fault._**


	10. The Truth

**Disclaimer: Well, I still don't own anything...check back next week.**

**A/N: I'm working on finishing this story first so I'm going to be updating it as often as possible. There's only about 5 or 6 more chapters anyway so I'm hoping that I can do about two chapters each week and get it done rather quickly. That being said, I really have no idea when anything will be updated anymore. All I know is that I'm currently job-less and have nothing better to do than be outside, clean house, watch my nephew, and write. This chapter, we get inside Jane's head...such an interesting place to be.**

It was late; after midnight before Jane decided that he couldn't avoid Lisbon any longer. He had to face the woman he loved but he really didn't want to. Red John was gone again and he'd been searching all day for something that could lead him to where the monster fled to. No one knew but he'd found something and he planned to follow the lead alone but before he could do that, he needed to see that Lisbon was okay. So many emotions had raced through him after seeing her bruised and bleeding from a knife wound at the neck. So many emotions and not one of them had been anything to celebrate.

Avoiding her wasn't easy but he had to do it. He'd had to find something that would help him find Red John again. He was going to end this before Lisbon wound up being the next victim. Seeing her with a gash in her neck and blood staining her clothes had only furthered his belief that she was in danger. Their relationship as well as her life was on the line and he'd choose her life over their relationship any day. He had a feeling that it had come down to just that. He was choosing her life and hoping that she understood enough to keep their relationship from spiraling into nothing.

Cho had told him that she'd wanted to talk but he hadn't been able to bring himself to give up his search and once he'd found what he was looking for, he simply hadn't wanted to talk to her. It was rude and she probably assumed he was angry but he had no excuses for why he'd stayed away. Maybe he was a little angry but he felt guilty for even thinking about it. It wasn't her fault so he had no right to be. Then again, he was known for being a cold bastard and he was proving everyone right by the fact that his significant other had been injured - almost lost her life by the looks of the wound on her neck - and he'd been too occupied with finding a serial killer to even check on her. Yeah, he'd definitely earned the bastard title and he knew it.

There was nothing he could do to prepare himself for entering their shared room and the only thing that comforted him was thinking of how she'd probably already fallen asleep. He could just watch her for awhile before leaving and hopefully return before she woke. He wasn't sure what would happen after that; he hadn't planned that far ahead but hopefully things would work out for the better between them. He didn't want to lose her. Even if he was mad at her - she'd had Red John - he hated thinking of moving back out of her apartment and no longer being able to steal lingering touches and such.

After unlocking the door, he pushed it open and saw her lying on the bed fast asleep; she'd left the lamp on. There was a pill bottle and glass of water next to her on the bedside table, along with her badge and gun. He just stood there for a few minutes - door wide open - and admired the way she'd curled herself around the pillow on 'his' side of the bed. She'd definitely been missing him and though he knew she wouldn't admit it, he also knew that was the only time she ever ventured off of 'her' side. This wasn't their bed, it was just a random hotel room but he knew she usually still kept on her preferred side.

"Hey," Slightly startled by a new voice, Jane whipped his head around to see Van Pelt standing awkwardly outside the door. He still hadn't closed it; the task had slipped his mind once he saw the dark haired sleeping beauty. "I was just coming to get my phone."

"Oh, it's on the table." He pointed in the general direction he remembered seeing it and stepped aside to let her enter. Lisbon probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that he was letting Grace in while she was sleeping on top of the covers in just his button down and undies but he couldn't care less. The worry etched into the red head's face when her eyes landed on her boss and it was clear that she felt for the battered woman. Typical Grace.

Closing the door with a soft click, he shook his head slightly and made a show of kicking off his shoes so their guest would believe that he was settling in for the night. There was something to be said about deceiving people and that would be that he was good at it. The one thing he'd always been good at was deception but it actually pained him to think that it could ultimately end the only good thing he had going on in his life.

His gaze settled on Lisbon again as did Van Pelt's and something akin to anger flashed in her features. It took him a moment to realize that it was directed at him; she'd turned towards him with that look on her face. He didn't know what to say really.

"You don't deserve her." The whisper was harsh and unforgiving. He could always count on the truth from her and swallowing calmly, Jane knew she was right.

"I know that."

"She was here - hurt - all day and where were you? Chasing some demon that's haunted you for years instead of being there for her, that's where. You're an idiot." The fire in her eyes didn't lessen a bit and he knew she wasn't done ranting yet. The young agent had always looked up to Lisbon and it was no real surprise that seeing her injured triggered an emotional response. Although he hadn't expected the anger. "Tell me, do you even know the extent of her injuries, Jane?"

No he didn't. As horrible as that seemed, he didn't have a clue but the bandage on her neck stuck out like a sore thumb.

"No."

"If you two have been in a relationship for almost six months - judging by the video we accidentally saw - then why weren't you at the hospital with her? Why was Cho the one who had to pick her up from the ER when it should have been you?"

"I-"

"She believes in you; she sticks her neck out for you constantly and you never even thank her. When all of this over and you're once again a lonely, still bitter man, let me know if Red John was worth it." Jane didn't say anything to contradict any of her words or try and defend himself as she moved to the door. There was no point when everything she said held some truth. He wasn't going to get angry with her and get all defensive of his actions. He just let her walk out and watched as the door shut and left him alone with Lisbon once again.

Peeling himself out of his jacket and vest, he stepped closer to the bed. Tossing the articles of clothing aside as he slid onto the mattress, Jane let out a sigh. There were a million and one things that he wanted to say and yet he didn't want to wake her. Using an elbow to prop himself up, he stared down at her and let his fingers lightly brush her hair out of her face. He didn't want to hurt her but the bandage on her neck was calling to him and before he could stop himself, his hand was trailing down to trace the edges. It obviously wasn't just a scratch but he'd known that upon seeing her stumble through the trees looking like something out of a horror film.

His eyes moved over her limp form and settled on her right wrist; it was bruised and he could see the distant finger marks. Red John had done that to her, he'd hurt her and Jane didn't know how to handle it. He'd tried to stay away from her and avoid talking to her but he knew that'd just hurt her feelings. He'd been horrible. Absolutely despicable but it'd just hurt too much. It wasn't right and he knew that but he was a coward. He'd promised her. He had promised her and still it'd happened. This was all his fault.

He'd made her a promise, telling her that he wouldn't let Red John touch her and yet he'd failed to keep it. The bruising on her wrist was the reminder that he'd failed and he knew that her neck would probably scar to serve as an unforgiving taunt. He didn't know what injuries she'd sustained but her left arm looked swollen. All he knew was that she'd fallen through the ground into a tunnel, scuffled with a murdering psycho, caught the bastard and then lost him all in the same day.

Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, he felt a hint of anger build up. She'd lost Red John but then a little voice in the back of his head kept pointing out that it really wasn't her fault; she'd been in need of medical attention and she'd had him secured. Not well enough apparently but he knew he shouldn't be blaming her for everything. He just couldn't help it but even blaming her couldn't stop him from carrying out his next actions. It was a precaution, just in case he never got the chance again.

Caressing her cheek for a moment, he let himself revel in the feel of her soft skin and sight of her in his shirt. He was relieved that she was okay and he wanted to gently remove the clothing covering her skin and show her that but he had no right - not when he knew what he was going to do. Instead, he leaned down and brushed a soft kiss to her lips, murmuring an 'I still love you' against them before slipping from the bed.

He did still love her. One mistake wasn't going to change that but he didn't trust himself not to yell at her and show just how upset he'd been when they found handcuffs and no Red John. He didn't trust himself at all and he needed to get going. Leaving his jacket and vest on the floor, he headed for the door. With a quick glance back at her, he thought he saw a hint of a smile playing at her lips but didn't dwell and closed his hand around the handle. Time to leave, time to end the chase.

He froze, spine tingling when a sleepy voice filled the air and interrupted his escape.

"Where are you going?"

**a/n: Well guys, it's a short little chappy but it's an update so I guess that's what matters. :D **

**Next: "You think I don't know that this is all my fault, Patrick?"**


	11. The Confession

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than my imagination.**

**A/N: I'm attempting rather pathetically to get this all finished up within the next week and a half. That's right, I plan to write roughly five chapters in just a few days...I'm not sure if I can get it accomplished but I shall try. Everyone reading this deserves a cookie because I feel awful for the slow start and my sometimes less than stellar ability of late review replies. So yeah, anyone still reading this is amazing and if you've been reading since I posted the first chapter then thank you for sticking with me through the sparse updates.**

_He froze, spine tingling when a sleepy voice filled the air and interrupted his escape._

_"Where are you going?"_

* * *

Busted. He'd been caught and even though she sounded sleepy, he could hear something resembling hurt in her tone.

"I was going to get some ice; it'll only take a moment. Go back to sleep."

"Don't lie to me, the ice bucket is still by the sink." Jane had hoped that she wouldn't have noticed such a thing but she had and he was left struggling to think of another lie to get away. He didn't trust himself around her when his blood was still simmering. The boiling sensation was gone but he was still running hot and knew that he'd probably say or do something he'd regret. "Patrick, please."

A ragged breath flew from his lungs, his eyes closed and then opened again, and slowly he turned to face her. The woman he'd been in a relationship with for nearing half of a year was attempting to sit up and cringing in the process. Her eyes showed that she was in pain but she never made a peep; she just forced herself to get the task done and fixed him with a questioning gaze.

"I'll be coming back."

"That's not what I asked." Sometimes her stubbornness really rubbed him the wrong way and this was one of those times. When his mind was reeling with the possibilities of how Red John had escaped 'again' and how seriously injured Lisbon could have been - or was for all he knew - he just didn't want to deal with her being stubborn and asking too many questions. "I just want to know if you're okay..."

Any other day he would've found the way she looked down at her lap and let her sentence trail off in a whisper heartwarming but it wasn't any other day and at this point he was starting to feel the anger bubble in his chest. When his voice broke through the crackling air, it was sharp and filled with venom.

"I'm terrific. What do you think?"

"That clearly wasn't the right word choice. M'sorry." And still she wasn't putting up a fight. She was just staring at him with a guilty look on her face and that only made him lash out with more anger. If she was blaming herself for what had transpired then how could he not?

"The right word choice? No offense Lisbon but right now, I don't give a damn about your word choice. You had Red John and you let him get away!" She visibly flinched and he could see that there were tears clouding her vision. It pained him, constricted his chest uncomfortably but the words were out there and he couldn't take them back. He didn't want to; she'd asked for it the moment she pressed him into answering her stupid question. Where was he going? He was going to end a battle that'd been waging on for too long; he was going to protect her and she was trying to stop him.

"You think I don't know that this is all my fault, Patrick?" Hearing her blame herself was harder than he thought - harder than seeing it in her eyes - and he knew that when his anger faded, he'd hate himself for how he felt and the things he was saying but he couldn't stop himself from advancing towards the bed to tower over her. She already looked battered and broken - the bandage on her neck accomplished that - and he was making it worse.

"You had him! Knowing it's your fault doesn't make the fact that you lost him go away! How could you let this happen?" This time, he saw her eyes spark and knew she was just about as fed up with his behavior as he was with hers. Good, he wanted her angry; he wanted her to be mad at him. It'd make it easier to walk out. She'd get angry and she'd forget that she didn't want him going anywhere alone.

He knew the second her gaze hardened and voice came out determined and cold that he would be walking out of the room and she wouldn't be in the mood to even try and stop him. He'd wanted to avoid hurting her but it was the only option left.

"You son of a bitch. I didn't let it happen, you think I just stood there? I was trying to get some help; no one knew there were tunnels and I couldn't just wait till someone found them."

"Why not?" Watching her set her jaw and square her shoulders was somewhat satisfying for him but the feeling was short lived when she maneuvered to climb off the bed. Bruising became more visible when she moved and he had to force himself to remember his plan. Get her angry and leave. Distraction was not an option and once she was toe to toe with him, he gave her a once over and then set his steely gaze on hers. "Why couldn't you wait _Lisbon_?"

Her answer didn't come with words - she probably didn't have anything to say - but when she began to unbutton her shirt, he knew exactly what was coming. Her hands were shaking, though he wasn't sure if it was out of anger or sadness and she fumbled a few times before shrugging out of the cloth to reveal the dark angry bruising on her side, hip and worst of all was that of her shoulder. Her ankle was swollen, so was her arm and the finger marks on her wrist had seemed to darken. He didn't even want to go into how he felt about the slice in her neck. He was no longer angry; he was livid. Not with her but it didn't matter. She was there and would undoubtedly receive the brunt of his anger.

"Is this a good enough answer for you?" He wanted to touch her, wanted to trace the marred patches of her skin with his fingers but he didn't. "I barely got the upperhand; I doubt I could've handled a round two, so I'm sorry for being human and needing help."

Unknowingly grabbing her elbow, he pulled her closer and practically growled out his next words.

"Don't do that; don't try and make me feel sorry for you."

"I'm not. I knew starting a relationship with you would be a horrible idea; I knew it!" Her emotional statement was a slap in the face and for a moment all he could do was stare at her; see the tears gathering in her green eyes and feel nothing but sorrow for the mess he'd put her through. He felt pain in his chest, a clenching sensation at the way she spat the words but he'd known he wouldn't make it through the battle unscathed. Besides, she was right. They'd both known it was a bad idea - even worse that it'd been on a Red John case when they'd both been too emotional to make rational decisions.

"Then why'd you stay? Almost six months and you could have walked away at any time, so tell me Teresa, why'd you stay?"

"Because I love you!" It wasn't the shout that stunned him but the words and as soon as both realized what she'd said in the heat of the moment, she was ducking her head and staring at the bed. He'd never expected her to say the words first; he'd never expected things to go quite like they just had. How was he supposed to respond to that? He couldn't say it back when she obviously hadn't meant to say it in the first place and he was still too angry. Letting go of her elbow, he took a few stumbling steps backwards and continued to just stare at her.

Jane knew there was something he should say but he couldn't think of anything that wouldn't come out in a harsh tone and seeing that he'd finally broke through her exterior; he didn't want to push it and risk losing her completely. The tears she was discreetly wiping away showed that enough damage had been done to serve the purpose and when she finally regained the nerve to look him in the eye, she looked defeated. She looked done.

"Leave."

"I - "

"Get out." She sounded done as well. He'd heard that tone before. A night so familiar to this when he'd drank himself into oblivion; she'd had that same tone. No real emotion just empty words uttered in a whisper and he realized that he'd already pushed her too far. That hadn't been his intention and in an attempt to show her that he'd be coming back, he placed a hand on her shoulder for a gentle squeeze. In his moment of utter stupidity he forgot about the bruising but when she hissed and groaned in pain, he immediately jerked back and mumbled an apology. It wasn't enough. "Just get the hell out! It's what you want!"

He chose not to correct her. It wasn't what he wanted - he wanted to stay - but it was what he _had _to do. He had to go, so he did. Leaving her standing there almost bare of clothing, covered in bruises, and holding back tears, he walked away. Swallowing the lump forming in his own throat, he told himself it was necessary and he'd done the right thing but he knew that was a load of crap. He didn't know what the right thing was anymore but he knew one way he could make up for the damage he'd just caused. It was a compromise, one he'd be willing to partake in and she would be none the wiser; she'd be in the hotel room.

Waiting until he got outside, he fished his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number, and waited for the answer. He'd never been sure of what his decision would be when it came to Red John until that moment when she'd yelled out her feelings in anger. It sealed the deal and made the choice for him.

* * *

The moment the door had slammed, Lisbon had fallen back on the bed with a sharp jab of pain shooting up from her ankle. It hurt to stand too long and it hadn't helped that she'd decided to forgo the pain medication and just tough it out. She hadn't realized that she'd end up battling with Jane and dealing with a throbbing body all at once; she would've taken the meds if she'd known.

She was such an idiot - thinking he'd actually come in and be glad to see that she was okay. It was in his eyes when he saw the extent of her injuries that it bothered him to see her in such a state but his anger obviously triumphed his worry which made hers flare. She'd said some things that she didn't mean and one thing she hadn't intended to tell him until they were back home. At this point she wasn't even sure she still wanted him in her home.

Letting her hands cover her face in embarrassment and hurt, she recalled her confession and Jane's lack of a reaction to it. She didn't mean to say that a relationship with him was a horrible idea but in retrospect it really was - although she hadn't wanted to end things. Had they ended things? Did it even matter anymore? Feeling a few tears sneak out, she just sighed and ignored the pounding in her head and the ache covering the rest of her body.

He now knew that she loved him and it terrified her. He'd just stood there, not saying anything and it stung a lot more than she'd ever thought it would. Glancing down at her silver painted toes, she remembered a happier time and found that she just couldn't bring herself to be okay with letting him go. She'd always swore that no matter what happened, she'd be fine with it but she wasn't.

After so many months, she just was not okay with the thought of him wandering into a dangerous situation alone and with her judgement clouded in anger, she'd let him do just that. He was going off on his own and though she knew she needed to stop him, she just couldn't get up the energy to move. He was a grown man, she had to let him figure things out and just hope that he made the right choice on his own. She couldn't babysit him when she could barely get around and she really just didn't want to anymore.

**a/n: So any guesses on what'll happen?**

**Next: _"So that's it?" It was the disbelieving tone that made his face scrunch a little and she couldn't help but let her lips tilt. _**

_**"That's it." **_


	12. The Apology

**Disclaimer: This is still a no.**

**A/N: Ah! Sorry for the wait...again. I suck with keeping regular updates on my stories. I'm thinking of putting one or two on hold so I can focus on just a couple but I doubt I'll actually do that. I'm so excited to have this almost complete. I can't wait to get it done so I can get everything else all sorted out. That being said, enjoy this chapter. **

"I knew you'd come." Those were not the words that Jane had expected to hear upon arriving at the darkened barn that resided at the very back of the property police had been searching. On that same note, he wasn't really surprised by the sound of the voice. Glancing around in the dark, he tried to make out anything that looked to be a human form but all he could see was black.

"I didn't have much of a choice."

"Oh come now, Mr. Jane. Let us be fair, I gave you a choice." In Jane's attempt to remain in control of himself, he thought of the woman he'd left over an hour ago. Her words, her eyes, her body, her hands, anything and everything that could keep him calm enough not to stumble right into the trap that Red John had no doubt set up. He knew there wasn't any room for mistakes or he'd be leaving in a body bag.

Unfortunately, thinking of Lisbon also reminded him of the bad things. The cut on her neck, the bruises on her wrist, marks left by the man hiding in shadows. Marks that had led to a heated argument that probably ruined everything he had left. She was it for him. She was all he had and he'd walked away because she'd told him to. Since when had he ever listened before? If it hadn't been for what he was doing right then, he never would have left. He would've ignored her demand and stayed to try and fix what was left of their crumbling relationship.

Now, he was left trying to find another way to fix it. This was the only way things could ever mend and he was going to prove to her that he wasn't choosing a serial killer over the woman he'd been in a relationship with for the better part of six months. So there he was, with his heart slamming against his ribcage and his palms sweating in anticipation, he continued to let his eyes scan the dark in hopes to see something. His plan wouldn't work if he couldn't see his opponent, luckily his eyes were starting to adjust and he could make out shapes and close objects.

"You get me here alone, and now you hide?" Antagonizing would only work so well but Jane had to find out where - exactly - in the far right corner the voice was coming from.

"I am not hiding; you are simply not looking." A movement caught his attention, his eyes zeroing in on it to recognize a hand. A waving hand. Jane really hoped that Lisbon would find a way to forgive him. He wouldn't blame her if she just couldn't. He'd been awful to her and then she'd admitted her feelings and he'd walked away without a word for this - this confrontation that he'd been waiting for so long to have.

It wasn't at all like he'd imagined. He didn't feel anything except for the pounding of his heart and his own heavy breathing. Anger was mixed in there but nothing was as definitive as he'd prepared himself for.

"This is what you wanted right? Just me, and you got it by threatening Lisbon which I must say is quite idiotic of you." Calling a maniacal serial killer 'idiotic' probably wasn't the best idea but Jane had a plan and he had to get the upper hand in conversation for it to work. He needed it to work or everything he'd done - everything he'd given up - would have been for nothing. He was playing with fire though, he knew what happened when you said the wrong thing about Red John and he'd just insulted the man in an attempt to coax him out of the shadows. There was a possibility that everything could all go to hell but nothing could make him change his mind.

He needed the plan to go smoothly but with anger coursing through him and so many thoughts filling his head, he wasn't sure he could stay calm enough for it to work. Just five more minutes - that was all he needed.

* * *

She was trying, Lisbon was really, really trying to get back to sleep but she just couldn't. Between thoughts of Jane and the aching in her body she just couldn't rest and when she looked at the clock to see that almost two hours had passed, she knew that her subconscious simply wasn't going to let her stop worrying long enough to even attempt to close her eyes again. Even after being the one to kick him out of the room, she was still concerned for the stupid man.

With a grumble of disapproval at her own feelings, she eased herself into a sitting position while favoring her shoulder. She remembered now how much she truly hated having anything dislocated. She could feel the blood rush to all her sore spots once her feet hit the floor, and with a hiss, she forced herself to stand. If Jane had gone off to do something stupid then someone needed to know about it and she'd have to be the one to deliver the news.

Choosing comfort over hassle and pain, she fished a pair of pajama pants out of her overnight bag and slipped them on under Jane's button down that she'd stolen so many months ago. The team could think whatever the hell they wanted, she was hurting too much to care about appearance and sincerely regretting her decision to forgo the pain medication. Her shoes proved to be a bit of a problem but she worked it out and swiftly opened the door to head for Cho's room.

Her heart broke a little more with every step, every thought of the things that had been said between her and the man she loved, but she pushed on. There was no time to wallow when Jane could be in trouble or dead. She didn't want to think about it but it was a possibility; he'd been gone for awhile and she just knew that he was off to do something dangerous and moronic. He had quite a knack for doing such and considering the strong feeling of dread that'd settled in her stomach when she woke to find him leaving, she just knew that he'd found something to lead him to Red John.

Knowing him as well as she did, he'd probably kept the information to himself and that only made things worse. How were they supposed to help him when no one had a clue as to where he'd went? Rolling her eyes in disgust that was directed at both of them, she began muttering to herself.

"Way to go, Teresa, your heart is in shreds and yet you still worry about him." It was that revelation that made her come to the conclusion love sucks, amongst a few other things. It didn't even matter that she had no intentions of facing the man for awhile, she still couldn't sit back and let him get killed. It didn't matter how much she despised him in that moment but rather how much she knew she loved him in every other.

Raising her fist to pound on the door, she found that her eyes had begun to leak all over again. She was a mess and she didn't even care. It was one of those very few rare times when there were bigger things to worry about than what her subordinates would think - besides they'd already seen her caught on tape with a man so it wasn't as if it'd be the worst thing in the world.

The sound of her hand against the door startled her, she hadn't quite expected it to be so loud in the silent hallway but she kept knocking, and knocking, and knocking. The answer never came and after five constant minutes, she gave up. It wasn't like Cho to just ignore something like a knock at the door while they were on a case and it left her biting her lip in uncertainty before moving on to the next room to repeat the process.

Van Pelt was much quicker to answer her door and it seemed as though she was also quite shocked to see her boss standing there looking the way she did. Lisbon knew she definitely wouldn't be winning any best dressed or beauty awards but she didn't give a damn. As soon as the door had cracked open an inch, words were flying from her lips rather frantically and she no longer sounded like the composed agent; she sounded like the scared undefined woman in Jane's life.

"Jane's gone, he left and I think he went to confront Red John. He's been gone for over an hour and I don't know what to do; I can't get Cho to answer his door. This is my fault, he could be dead..."

"Whoa, Boss, slow down." Out of embarrassment she wiped her cheeks and straightened her spine as the tired looking woman in front of her scanned her appearance. "Jane's where?"

"I don't know, he just left and I was stupid enough to let him."

"Okay, um, wake the guys and I'll try his cell." With a shaky nod, Lisbon turned back to head towards Rigsby's door only to pause mid-step and realize that she'd just momentarily became the one taking orders while Van Pelt had been the one giving them. It was odd; she didn't like it and she swore to herself that she'd never feel like this again. She'd never let herself get in over her head only to be left disoriented and appearing weak. In that moment, she sincerely hated the man who made her aware of her feelings.

* * *

Jane knew he'd always remember the moment - second moment - he came face to face with the killer who took away his family and every time he smelled dirt and hay, he'd be back in the barn. Funny how smells could attach themselves to memories and that's exactly what he hoped this would turn into - just a memory. Only a distant recollection of the sound of footsteps crunching closer and the features of the man he hated slowly coming into focus. The shadows kept things murky, gave it a dangerous feel but he kept his mind on the goal.

He couldn't lose Lisbon and that's why he'd walked away from her. It was why he was standing by himself in a darkened space with a serial killer for company. He wouldn't let Red John take another woman he loved and if this was the way to stop him then so be it. He had no intentions of dying and though he wasn't armed, he had the upper hand because of the risk he'd taken and it was rather clear that Red John was clueless.

The glint of metal in the dark caught his attention as the final step was taken, leaving them practically toe to toe. Fists clenching, he was suddenly fighting with himself over whether or not he was doing the right thing. He so badly wanted to end it all, but he wouldn't do that to Lisbon and that was the only reason he didn't plow into the man in front of him - consequences be damned. So much anger and hatred coursed through his veins and yet he didn't move. He had to stay still. For Lisbon.

"I knew you'd come alone. Very typical of you - saving dear Agent Lisbon by sacrificing yourself. Rather foolish. How do you think she's going to feel when they find your body?"

"You made a mistake." Jane let his eyes wander a bit to lock onto something moving behind his enemy and an almost smug grin came over his features. It was show time and a small part of him was actually relieved that things would turn out the way they were going to. It'd be a small price to pay. He had the upper hand. After all, he hadn't been shot in the arm. "A huge one, by assuming I'd come alone."

The surprise showed in Red John's darkened features when the click of a gun was heard and the barrel was pressed to the back of his head. Jane had been waiting for the right moment and it arrived a heck of a lot more smoothly than he'd anticipated. He didn't even have a scratch on him and though his fists were clenched so tightly he'd be surprised if he ever got feeling back in his fingers, he'd done it. He'd controlled his rage and need for vengeance long enough to compromise in a way that would hopefully leave room for Lisbon to eventually forgive him.

"Drop the knife." He'd never been so pleased to hear Cho's voice as he was right at that moment. He wouldn't have been able to keep himself in check much longer - the agent had rather impeccable timing.

The blade dropped to the ground, an almost hurt expression on the killer's face as if he was appalled that Jane had finally managed to pull one over on him. It'd been rather simple once Jane given it some thought. He was expected to do exactly as told to save Lisbon and knew that Red John would count on his need for revenge to lead him into doing just that but he'd compromised in a last attempt to save whatever relationship was left between him and the woman he loved. He'd brought along a friend, Cho, and dropped him off out of sight of the barn. The plan had faults - several holes littered throughout and he'd been surprised when Cho agreed to such a thing but he was feeling rather relieved that he did.

The sound of the cuffs locking into place was undeniably sweet and this time, they were staying. A promise had been made - albeit silently - to a woman he'd left broken and banged up in a hotel room questioning every move they'd made in the last five and a half months. The search was over and though he hadn't annihilated his enemy as he'd intended, a part of him still felt a bit of closure.

"What took you so long?"

"Called for backup. The others are about five minutes out." Unable to keep his thoughts from racing, Jane merely nodded and continued to keep his eyes trained on the now secured demon he'd been battling for so long. "Lisbon's with them."

"She needs to rest." Just as Cho was about to reply, their captive piped up with a sly grin on his face.

"I've escaped before, I'll do it again and I won't leave her alive next time." Seeing red at the thought, Jane took a step closer only for Cho to pull the man back and slam him into the wall to shut him up. The pressure it put on the untreated gun shot wound in his arm had the desired effect of making him yelp in pain.

"Apparently she wouldn't take no for an answer and is considerably pissed at you - with good reason."

"I was trying to keep her out of it."

"You're an idiot." Scoffing, Jane decided that was the understatement of the century and now that two people had made it perfectly clear to him, he felt like an even bigger jerk for yanking Lisbon's emotions around as if they were play things.

And she loved him - of all things. He'd sincerely never expected those words to fall from her lips while mid fight but it'd happened and she'd regretted it instantly. He'd see it in her features, seen the hurt and shame for saying something like that and instead of staying and showing her that it'd be okay, he'd left in an attempt to get rid of the biggest obstacle between them.

It was headlights and the sound of sirens that pulled him from his self pity party and back into the present - back to the fact that he was feet away from a man he desperately wanted to see die. He really hoped that Lisbon took that into account when she saw that he'd done the right thing but the second the SUV slowed to a stop and the cop cars behind it did the same, he realized she was livid. He could see it before she even opened the passenger side door and when she stepped out with a wince, he didn't need the daylight to see that she looked exhausted.

Making his way out of the barn - directly behind Cho and the apprehended serial killer - Jane watched as his love moved with intent, as well as pain. The limp she had was barely noticeable due to her quick pace and he was almost convinced that she looked relieved to see him. That was until she'd stopped directly in front of him, drew her fist back and let it connect with his nose. The shock of it registered before the pain and then he was groaning and clasping his hand over his nose as if to protect it from any further damage.

"You jackass." She'd hurt herself by punching him, it was clear in the tremor in her voice but he was wise and said nothing. He just held his nose and waited for the throbbing to lessen. "You're such a selfish son of..."

"Boss?"

"What, Cho?"

"We're riding with Red John as a precaution this time. You coming?"

"No. And just so we're clear, you're on desk duty until I decide otherwise for going along with such a stupid idea."

"Yes, ma'am." Jane could feel her anger - mostly in his nose - and though her eyes were alive with fire, he wasn't sure it was a good thing but it was definitely better than the way she'd been acting in the hotel room. She'd just looked defeated then and now she was boiling. She seemed to calm a bit after Cho walked away and left them alone. A deep breath was exhaled from her lungs, her shoulders hunching forward and her face giving away how she was more scared than anything.

"How could you be so stupid?"

"I brought backup." He was still pinching the bridge of his nose and Lisbon felt a small - tiny - pang of guilt. He'd deserved it though. After everything he was lucky all he got was a good punch in the nose, although the force of it had caused her a bit more pain than she'd admit. "I thought it was better than coming alone."

"No, Jane, you endangered yourself and one of my finest agents. You could've been killed!"

"I'm tired of fighting with you, Teresa. I wanted to try and salvage what little we have left and thought the best way to do that was to bring in Red John alive." A collection of tears pooled in her eyes and despite biting her lip to control her emotions, she felt herself step closer. He was an imbocile who thought of things differently than she did and had a twisted sense of right and wrong but she still loved him.

"Why do you always make everything so hard?"

"I don't mean to."

"I need some time." She couldn't just take him back with open arms after everything that'd been said and done. There was no way it'd be conducive to either of them and she simply didn't know what she wanted anymore. It depended on several factors and she needed a few days to think. "Give me some time."

"Okay."

"Okay, just don't push it."

"So that's it?" It was the disbelieving tone that made his face scrunch a little and she couldn't help but let her lips tilt.

"That's it." Moving her fingers to brush lightly against his, Lisbon felt a little swell of hope rise in her chest. She was nowhere near close to forgiving him but she had to admit that she was nowhere near close to giving him up either. "This isn't me forgiving you. I don't know if I will."

"I know." The SUV pulled away, leaving only them and crime scene techs on the scene and it took until that second for her to realize that she'd be stuck riding with Jane. Glancing up at the man next to her, she noticed him still rubbing his nose and couldn't help but smirk. "You really pack a punch for such a small injured woman."

"You deserved it."

**a****/n: Because, I still love the thought of Lisbon punching Jane in the nose. After this one is complete, I'll work on completing Family Revelations. I figure Believe will probably keep going as well as United.**

**Nex****t up: _"This still doesn't mean I forgive you." Sighing into his shoulder after whispering the words, she hugged him tighter and felt a tiny piece of her shredded heart start to mend. _**

_**"I know."**_


	13. The Closet

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.**

**A/N: I will eventually get this done! My college classes start tomorrow though, so I'm not sure exactly when I'll update. We'll just see how things go. Onto the new chapter. Enjoy.**

**This chapter is STRONG T for some suggestive situations and imagery. **

"How's the nose?" For some very sick and twisted reason, the way Jane flinched at just the mention of it was strangely satisfying. No, Lisbon hadn't intended to punch her...whatever he was, but her emotions had got the best of her. She felt a little bad about it when he touched the swollen portion of his face and his features showed that it caused pain. "M'sorry."

"No you're not but that's okay. I said some harsh things to you - things I never should have said." She didn't want to talk about it at the police station but it seemed that was exactly what was going to happen and she could tell by the tension in his shoulders that she couldn't stop him. "I wanted to make you mad..."

"Mission accomplished."

"You wouldn't have let me leave otherwise and I needed to." Another retort was quick on her tongue but he cut her off before she could even utter a peep. "I couldn't handle seeing you hurt and knowing he was still out there."

"Jane," He cringed at her choice of using his surname but there were people around. "This is my job and most of these injuries are from falling into the tunnel."

"But not all of them."

"No, not all of them and you didn't even act like you cared." Lowering her voice to a whisper, she tugged him into a more private area and closed a door only to realize she'd ended up in a supply closet with him. It didn't matter much when she just needed some privacy. Locking the door, she turned back to him and continued in a hushed tone, "I needed you. I know that I'm independent and push you away sometimes even after dating for so long but I wanted you there this time and you weren't."

"I couldn't be until we caught him. I'm not sorry for catching him the way I did Teresa, but I am sorry that I wasn't there with you." Letting a groan fall from her lips, Lisbon dropped her head into her hands and willed the headache to just go away. It wouldn't listen but it was worth a shot and she was so sore. Her body was working against her and making sure that she knew she'd passed up the pain meds. Between her physical pain and the emotional, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle much more. She was just so tired and when she felt warm fingers wrap gently around her wrists to pull her hands away from her face, she didn't try to fight. It would have just aggravated her damaged shoulder and she wasn't a fan of doing such a thing so she let him have her hands, let him thread his fingers through hers once settled between their bodies but it took her a good five minutes before she had enough courage to look up at him.

The second she saw his eyes in the dimly lit closet, she knew what he was about to do and she made no gesture to stop him. She'd just preached a few hours ago that she needed time and that he shouldn't push it. He was pushing it, she was letting him. She wanted the contact, she wanted to know if he could still make her feel safe. Yes, it was a laugh to think that Patrick Jane, consultant extraordinaire could make her feel safe when she was a CBI agent and carried a gun but he somehow managed. He made things seem less important, less daunting - although, she'd probably never feel safe if he was her only hope in getting out of a dangerous situation but that was a different matter altogether. She didn't expect him to be fearless or strong enough to fight her battles, she could handle them fine on her own but when he took a step closer, she came to the conclusion that she just wasn't ready to end things.

No matter the fact that she knew it'd be best for both of them to end their relationship, she didn't want to and if that made her weak or stupid then she'd just have to live with that. She didn't know how to forgive him for going off by himself but hearing him say that he'd only yelled to make her angry enough to let him had somehow made it a tiny bit better. It shouldn't have but it did.

Lisbon didn't stop him in his advance but she did find herself leaning back against a shelf and raising her hands to rest on his shoulders. In the few seconds it took for him to seal his lips to hers, she managed to forget their location. It didn't matter if they were in the middle of a nudist colony, she wouldn't have noticed anything after the first initial contact. It honestly felt as though it'd been so long. The coming home sensation swept through her body, making her bunch his jacket in her fingers and pull him closer. He acted hesitant and she guessed that he was wary of her injuries but the second she opened her mouth beneath his, he gave in.

Lips moving almost frantically and desperate against his, her hands moved up his neck and around to grasp at his curls. She hated the way he could make her feel with one word, one touch, one action but she was torn because it was also something she liked and craved at times. Maybe she'd grown too used to being in a relationship with him but while locked in a heated kiss in a darkened supply closet after a notorious serial killer was caught, Lisbon realized that it was the little things that made her love him. The small details of how they'd spend Sundays in bed, being lazy, and sometimes doing nothing more than reading or just talking. It was never about sex with them but she had no complaints in that department either. She loved him for his crazy dancing and singing when he made them breakfast, his ability to know exactly what she needed - no matter how annoying it sometimes seemed - and for every little detail that made him Jane. Even the bad ones.

A moan startled her into the harsh reality and it took her only seconds to realize it'd come from her own throat. He was too good at knowing where to place his hands to make her boneless against him and when his fingers brushed the underside of her breast, she felt herself slacken between him and the shelf. She forgot about the pain, though the reminder was still there she just didn't care but when his mouth broke away to pepper kisses along her jaw, she held onto him and ignored the protest from her shoulder.

"Patrick," She'd meant to sound serious, she'd meant for it to come out as a plea for him to stop but it sounded more like she wanted him to continue. "Patrick, slow down."

"This is slow." A chuckle flew from her lips and then a gasp followed when he bit gently at the tender spot just beneath her ear.

"We're in a closet at a police station, we need to..."

"Teresa," The growl set her ablaze and weakened her resolve. She'd always loved when his voice was husky, aroused. "I'm showing you that I'm sorry for not being there, that I hate the thought of you hurting and that I don't want you to give up on me."

Choking on a sob, she pulled his mouth back up to hers and poured everything she was feeling into one kiss. The hurt, the anger, the arousal, the love all rolled into one simple action that left them both aware of what they could be losing. Breath mingling, tongues tasting, and lips melding, their location suddenly seemed unimportant. She felt when the first tear spilled over and hated that he could break her, hated that he made her show her emotions when she'd rather lock them away and the confession she'd made when they were fighting was still fresh on her mind.

She didn't move away or try to get him to let her go but she pulled back from the kiss and stared up at him for a few long minutes. He brushed her hair out of her face, kissed the tip of her nose and let one hand stroke over her hip to settle beneath her shirt. With her brow furrowed and her eyes no doubt giving away what she felt like saying, she knew that it'd only take him a few seconds to figure it out. She was right.

"You didn't scare me. I didn't leave because you scared me with your impromtu confession."

"I didn't mean to -"

"I know but I need you to know something. I need to say something before we walk out of here." Heart racing at the thought and from what they'd been doing for a good five minutes, she simply nodded to get him to continue. She didn't trust her voice when a knot had already formed in her throat. His fingers stroked through her hair, relaxing her a bit and making her lean into him even more than she already was. Chests crushed together, she felt his heart beating and finally let herself admit that she was so relieved to see him alive - to feel him alive. "I love you too. I love you Teresa, and there's nothing in the way now. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry you're in pain, I'm sorry you feel so out of control, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you but please believe me. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean -"

"Shut up." The barely heard whisper was enough to stop him and when she initiated the contact, it was pretty clear that all her protests about location had disappeared and that for some unforeseen reason, she believed him. He avoided her tender spots, knew where not to touch because it'd cause her discomfort and even maneuvered his way around the bandage covering a portion of her neck. The second her shirt was pulled from her body she knew that she wasn't going to put up a fight and fleetingly thought of how uncomfortable it was to have a shelf digging into her back.

Those thoughts were soon wiped away and replaced with sighs as hands found bare skin to caress. God she'd missed him. Whispering those very words into him, they managed to push barriers out of the way rather quickly and it struck her as odd that she was terrified of having sex in a hotel room but was about to do it in a supply closet - of all places. It felt needed, felt like she had no fight left in her to try and remain professional behind a locked door.

The moment their bodies touched, skin to skin, she lost all train of thought and let herself respond to his touches. They moved together with finesse, ease, and neither spoke a word. Hands stroked, mouths brushed, and her legs wrapped around his waist. It wasn't quick or rough like they'd both expected; it was gentle and almost slow as if they were in no hurry despite where they were. Almost as if they were reaquainting themselves with each other. It didn't last long but neither cared. They were in a closet, time wasn't on their side.

Length meant nothing when they were both holding on tightly to each other and gasping by the time their motions came to a halt. For awhile no one said anything, too afraid to break the silence. Both too afraid that what they'd done and what they were doing would end horribly if one word disrupted the sounds of their breathing. After awhile though, the silence became deafening to Lisbon and her heated skin began to cool and chill.

In an attempt to mask how shaken she was, she swallowed silently and sniffled a bit in hopes to hide the fact that there'd been tears streaming down her cheeks with every thrust that brought them together. Her voice was still a little watery when she spoke but she hoped he didn't notice.

"This still doesn't mean I forgive you." Sighing into his shoulder after whispering the words, she hugged him tighter and felt a tiny piece of her shredded heart start to mend.

"I know."

"We should get dressed before someone comes looking for us."

"I know." Hearing his heavy breaths in her ear made her feel like they were home, somewhere in her apartment, and just enjoying the feeling of being pressed so intimately together after engaging in something only described as desperate lovemaking. Her cheeks were wet, embarrassingly so, but she couldn't bring herself to move to wipe them. She'd rather stay wrapped around Jane - hiding her face - than admit that she'd cried during sex. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No." He hadn't aggravated her injuries too much and she wasn't about to tell him that they were a little more achy now. "We should go."

"I want to stay like this for a few more minutes." Her eyes clouded with more tears and she willed herself to suck it up. She was strong, she was Teresa Lisbon and she did not cry during moments like this. "S'okay, Beautiful, everything will be okay."

He knew. The second his fingers stroked her head in a soothing manner and she heard the words fall from his lips, she knew that he could tell she'd been crying. The use of his favorite nickname made it even more overwhelming and she clutched him tighter to anchor herself. Heat filled her cheeks but he said nothing more and continued to just hold her, run his hand over her hair in an attempt to soothe her and it was when she felt something moist on her arm that she realized she wasn't the only one overwhelmed.

Maybe all hope wasn't lost. Maybe they'd make it through. She really wanted to and she wasn't sure what kind of woman that made her but she didn't care. A lot of things that'd happened during the last few days were things that she'd never forget and would either make their relationship stronger or ruin it completely. They needed to work at it but she was willing. She'd wanted time away from him, time to think of where their relationship was going and if she wanted to continue it but it was rather obvious by the lack of clothing that staying away from him wasn't really an option anymore.

**a/n: Because supply closets are epic for this kinda heart to heart, body to body stuff. And this was as T rated as I could keep it. Typed this chapter for all the shippers.**

**Next: _"You really think this will last? I'll find a way and then I'll come after her, I'll kill her slowly just to hear her cries, just to hear her beg. Oh and she'll beg. She will, they all do. Your wife did." Standing on the opposite side of the glass, Lisbon could tell that Jane was going to snap if Red John continued the taunting. It was the clenching of his jaw that gave it away and the way he balled his fists. One slip up could cost them the case. The arrest was already sketchy._**

**_"Don't do it Patrick, come on, don't do it."_**


	14. The Hate

**Disclaimer: Well...no.**

**A/N: I pretty much bombed my first math exam. Cried for hours afterwards too. It was horrible and ruined my writing mood which is why I haven't gotten around to working on updating anything as of yet. But alas, here's a new chapter. :) I know it took forever, my bad.**

**For those who read Family Revelations: You have no idea how sorry I am for taking so long with the update but it's half finished so will def be up soon. I'm going to write more on it between classes tomorrow.**

As wrong as it probably was, Lisbon had enjoyed her time spent in a supply closet with Jane. She was achy and tired but it felt worth it; she felt relieved and less stressed. Perhaps sex really was good for the stress levels. Her irritability was still lying just beneath the surface though, waiting for an excuse to rear its ugly head. It was already starting to come back but for once it had nothing to do with the man she loved and everything to do with the one she hated. It was hard to fathom but she'd managed to turn all of her anger towards Red John and standing separated by a wall and some glass, her hatred showed on her features. She knew it did and there was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing she wanted to do about it. No one could see her, well no one besides Van Pelt.

She was holding her breath too, watching carefully as Jane paced the interrogation room and the man they'd been chasing was just sitting calmly as if he had nothing to worry about. It always worried her that Jane's emotions got the better of him whenever the serial killer made an appearance. This was no different, and she briefly wondered if she'd made a huge mistake by leaving him in the interrogation room without her. It hadn't been by choice, she'd been outranked because of her injuries so she'd sent the best in. Cho and Jane. The two had some sort of friendship going, she'd noticed over the last few years and they got the job done. Most of the time.

Other times she ended up mad at both of them because they'd do something stupid. Just like with the arrest. But she knew they'd get the necessary answers as long as Jane didn't do something stupid. After a few seconds, he stopped pacing and just stood with his back facing the glass and she could see the tension in his shoulders.

"Uh, Boss, are you gonna..."

"Huh?" Tearing her eyes away from the scene in front of her, she caught sight of Van Pelt pointing and knew immediately what she was gesturing to. Sound. There was no sound and she needed to hear what was going on. "Oh, right. Sorry, I think the pain meds are getting to me."

The lame excuse was lost between them, they both knew she hadn't taken anything and it was her emotional involvement with a certain someone that was affecting things but she'd never admit to it. Flipping the switch, she tried to pay attention when voices cut through the air. Her head still hurt too much to focus but she tried. She wanted this to be over so she could take Jane home and make sure he was going to be okay. No, she hadn't fully forgiven him for the things he'd said and done but that didn't matter.

Lisbon just couldn't let go. She'd always been the type to hang on to things that would be better off left alone but it wasn't in her nature to just give up. She wasn't about to start and the only moment she let her eyes drag away from Jane was when another voice broke through.

"You really think this will last? I'll find a way and then I'll come after her, I'll kill her slowly just to hear her cries, just to hear her beg. Oh and she'll beg. She will, they all do. Your wife did." Standing on the opposite side of the glass, Lisbon could tell that Jane was going to snap if Red John continued the taunting. It was the clenching of his jaw that gave it away and the way he balled his fists. One slip up could cost them the case. The arrest was already sketchy.

"Don't do it Patrick, come on, don't do it." Forgetting momentarily that she wasn't alone, Lisbon stepped closer to the glass, placing her hand against it and silently wishing for Jane to somehow know what she was feeling, what she was asking him 'not' to do. Whether he knew or not wasn't visible from her view of him, but his fists were still clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. He couldn't hear her whispered plea but it seemed as though one man in the interrogation room knew what she was thinking. Cho adjusted his chair so he was directly between Jane and the man taunting him and it apparently helped.

Fists unclenched, briefly, and he spun around to stare at the glass separating them. He just stared for awhile, ignoring the questions Cho was asking and the non responsive murdering bastard sitting across the room. Lisbon sucked in a sharp breath and regretted it when a painful clench tore through her side but she didn't move. She stayed rooted in her spot, ignoring everything around her to stare back at the man she'd been sleeping with for almost six months. It was as if he could see her clear as day. His eyes were fixed on hers though she knew he couldn't actually tell where she was standing. It was easy to tell that he knew what she was thinking and a small wave of relief ripped through her before she could even decide if it was a good or bad thing that he knew her so well.

Lisbon liked to think that she could fool him, make him think things, hide things from him but she couldn't deny that it was sometimes nice to have a man who just _knew _what she wanted. Not that he was always correct in his assumptions because he wasn't. There were several moments during their months together when he'd got something wrong, done something thinking she'd love it only to find out that she hated it but this wasn't the time to contemplate such things. For goodness sake, he was in a room with the man who had murdered his family in rage and she could only offer support from afar, only hoping he would understand what she wanted – what needed to be said and done.

"Is he okay?" Startled by the sound of Van Pelt's voice, Lisbon jumped and felt her heart skip a beat. She'd completely let it slip her mind that she wasn't alone.

"Y-Yeah, he's uh, he'll be fine." At this point, she wasn't sure if she was actually certain or if she was simply trying to convince herself more than anyone else. Either way, it wasn't working. With a glance at the younger agent, Lisbon could see that she didn't believe a word of it.

"He looks frozen, scared."

"Grace, he's Jane. He's fine." It was a lie, would anyone be fine in his position? No, they would not and there was nothing to say or do to make it better. Lisbon had to believe though, she had to think he would be absolutely okay...eventually, or the ache in her chest would expand into proportions that could destroy everything.

"I owe him an apology, I said some things that I shouldn't have after you were hurt." Slightly intrigued, Lisbon was tempted to ask, to be nosy, but she was more concerned over how quiet it had become in the interrogation room. Jane was struggling, it was evident in his breathing and it made anything else irrelevant.

The fact that Van Pelt was obviously upset over something she'd said to Jane didn't really matter to Lisbon when said man looked so conflicted over what to say or do. She couldn't begin to imagine what he was feeling and she didn't even attempt to.

The silence in the other room was almost deafening, she hated the look on Red John's face and she hated that it was torturing the man she loved. She hated that they still only knew the man as 'Tyler Remington' even though that wasn't his name. She hated that it'd taken so long to track him down, that there was still a possibility that he could pull some elaborate move and outsmart them – hated that he'd almost ruined the best relationship she'd ever been a part of and that he'd killed so many.

He was too calm, it unnerved her, and it was like he knew that his words had gotten to Jane. The leering grin on his face was one meant to show pride over his actions and it made her feel sick. She'd interviewed killers before, stood face to face with them, sat only inches away, but this one was somehow different. Red John made her feel nauseated to the point of almost needing to empty the contents of her stomach in the nearest trashcan and she knew why – it was personal.

It was personal for all of them because they all cared about Jane, granted she cared more than the others but it wasn't a matter of who was the most involved. Finally, after what felt like hours of a thick silence, Cho broke it.

"You ever gonna stop with the puzzles and tell us who you are?"

"You're the CBI, I'm sure you'll figure it out." Still Jane hadn't moved, hadn't turned back to face his longtime enemy. It worried her. It was as if he wasn't even aware anymore that the serial killer was around.

"We will. We're running your prints through every database in the country. Only a matter of time."

"A matter of time. Hm, only a matter of time till I carry out my revenge." Once again they were right back to where they started. The riddles and talking in circles had gotten old. Lisbon was tired of it, and she knew by the twitch in Jane's jaw that he was too. The words, however, snapped him out of whatever daze he'd been locked in and had him whirling around in hatred.

"Revenge? You don't get such a thing where you're going and I can assure you that any schemes you've cooked up on how to escape are not going to work this time around. I used to think that when I came face to face with the bastard that killed my family, I'd seek vengeance but I can't even bring myself to contemplate it now. I thought I'd yell, ask things, want answers but I don't because any answer you give won't be good enough. I'm done playing your games."

Out of everything Lisbon expected to hear fall from Jane's lips, those were something she hadn't even thought of. She never realized he felt that way, never realized that he was giving up the one thing he'd swore to carry out. For some reason, she had still expected him to do something to maim or perhaps even kill Red John even though he'd said he wouldn't. She thought it'd been another lie but this proved he was serious. He was done and the feeling swelling in her chest bubbled into an uncomfortable knot in her throat. He was doing it for her, for their relationship whether it be friendship or romantic. Things weren't the disaster she'd pegged them to be.

Red John would be going away for the rest of his miserable existence and even though the nagging 'what if he escapes' would probably forever linger in the back of her mind, Jane's too, they had a future. Jane was still alive, still breathing and still hers.

No longer okay with watching from the sidelines, she stepped out of the observation room - just as Jane left the interrogation - and was met with a pair of arms wrapping around her slender waist. Ignoring her body's natural instinct to push him away, she let him pull her closer, let him carefully tuck her head beneath his chin and she didn't care if anyone happened to see. They were at the police station in a town she'd never heard of till the tip had come across her phone-line, the CBI was nowhere to be seen.

"If he gets away..."

"He won't Patrick." She didn't know that for sure, she was thinking the exact same thing but she was trying to be there for the broken man, trying to piece him back together. She'd always loved puzzles and that's exactly what he was. A giant complicated puzzle.

Pulling back, she felt the painful tug in her ribs and remembered why her body ached the moment she locked gazes with him. Pain seemed irrelevant though, unimportant, same as it had when they were working out some issues while in the supply closet.

"I thought you'd want to finish the interview."

"No, I can't." The hushed tone of his voice showed vulnerability and Lisbon wanted nothing more than to somehow erase all of his pain but to do that she'd need a time machine. The only way to make it better would be to stop it from happening in the first place. She'd have to somehow go back in time and stop his family from being murdered. Since that was impossible, she offered the next best thing, a comforting shoulder to lean on.

She'd never meant to fall in love with such a damaged man, never meant to end up somehow angry with him and loving him even more in the process. In just days, she'd learned that it was possible to be so angry, absolutely filled with rage, and still put the other person's needs before her own out of love. It felt strange, she didn't really like it much either but he was slowly making up for some of it. There were things that she'd never be able to forget, and it'd take awhile for her to fully forgive.

Despite how it hurt, she let her hands rub up and down his arms in a soothing manner and tried to ignore her battered shoulder screaming in protest.

"S'okay, Cho can finish up, I'll send Rigsby in. I think maybe we should get some food in you." Confusion plagued his features and she almost laughed. Of course he wouldn't notice that he hadn't really eaten anything in days or that he was shaking. "Some hot food might do you some good."

"Are you hungry?" She wasn't but it didn't matter.

"Yeah."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am." The defiance brought an almost sly grin to his face and she triumphed at the sight. "Okay, maybe not."

The moment was short lived, smiles fading when he sighed and dropped his gaze. The reality had once again cut through.

"Can we just go home?" Home. The word wasn't missed by her and she knew he meant her apartment. The one all the way back in Sacramento. "I want to get out of here."

"Sure. Let me just tell Van Pelt, okay?" At his nod, she poked her head back in the door and relayed the information and the order that Red John was to be transported back to Sacramento under their supervision this time. She wasn't taking a chance of rogue officers. She trusted her team and as much as she wanted to be the one to make sure nothing went wrong, she wasn't in the best condition and it'd make sense for her to accompany Jane back home. It'd give them time to talk, time to really sort out their emotions without the option of running. She wanted him to open up, to tell her that he wasn't okay. She could see it in his eyes but she needed to hear him admit it because she knew if he didn't their relationship would only last a short time longer before secrets would come between them again.

**a/n: Okay, so since Melt originally started as introspective!Lisbon, I thought I'd delve into that once again. One more chapter guys. Just one and then it's over. I'm so ready for this story to be complete. On a different note, I'm passing my college courses! (So far)**

**Next: _"Are you sure about that?"_**

_**"Of course I'm sure. I want this."**_


	15. The End

**Disclaimer: We're at the end...finally but I still don't own it.**

**A/N: Update: College is going well. Life is pretty okay. I'm going canoeing this weekend with my best friend and a bunch of other people from the University. Hopefully he won't tip me, if he does, I will so kick his ass.**

**Thank you to every single person who has reviewed this...and Melt. This is the final chapter in my two part story, and hopefully everyone is somewhat satisfied. I wanted to leave it open to interpretation but still tie up a few things. Enjoy.**

Things had been a slight bit awkward on the drive back to Sacramento. With injuries impairing her ability to think and function, Lisbon had let Jane drive them. She'd let him set the pace and she'd just sat quietly in the passenger seat, eventually falling asleep. Although as soon as there was a slight difference in the texture of the road, she'd been awake and groaning from the jostling motion. It felt surreal almost, that Red John was captured. The serial killer would be going to jail and Jane was a free man and she was still with him. Despite having every reason and then some to up and leave, she stuck it out. It made sense she supposed, they'd started their relationship under questionable circumstances so it only seemed right to her that she stick it out. Had he hurt her? Hell yes. Had he done awful things that she would have a hard time forgetting? Yes. But they were both alive. Bruised a little, battered too whether it be physically or emotionally it was something that would take some time to heal. It wouldn't fix itself overnight but Lisbon could hope that it'd least be a brighter day than the last few. Everything took time.

Just like the time it took for them to arrive back at her apartment. In that lapse, hundreds of thoughts had flooded through both of their minds. Thousands maybe and most of them revolved around each other. Where they'd go from here, what they'd do now that Red John was caught. Just to be sure that there was no margin for error, Jane had given Lisbon his phone and had her call Cho periodically throughout the trip home to check that everything was still going smoothly. The worry wasn't misplaced but now that the car was parked and their bags dropped by the front door, it didn't seem as much of a priority. Cho would call if anything happened. The heap of luggage they'd left next to the door was deemed unimportant the moment they stepped inside. Neither wanted, nor had the energy to unpack. Running on minimal sleep had caught up to the both of them and Lisbon was just in too much pain. Her shoulder was stiff and hurting something awful and that wasn't even the worst of it. No doubt in her mind that their closet romp had worsened the throbbing in almost every limb, Lisbon finally broke down and took something for the cause of the tears in her eyes. She hadn't wanted to rely on pain medication to get her through this unfortunate event but with a few days leave coming her way, she'd gladly deal with the way it made her brain fuzzy. It wouldn't be impairing her work, just her home life which was different. It would help her sleep and she was all about sleep at this point. Exhaustion was hitting her hard and making everything seem like it took way too much energy.

It was the stairs that stopped her from reaching her destination. Those pesky things that undoubtedly were put there just to cause her problems when she was injured. For several seconds she just stood there, staring at them as if glaring would somehow take care of everything.

"Here, let me help you." She wanted to shrug off the offer, maybe snap at him for good measure but she was too tired. Instead, she let him wrap his arm around her waist thinking he'd just be her leaning post but she was wrong. He swept her up like a feather, carrying her bridal style up the stairs and as she stared up at him, she could see that he was doing his best to make things up to her. He was getting brownie points for trying but she guaranteed nothing until she'd slept for more than an hour or so at a time.

To say 'thank you' she pressed her lips to the underside of his chin as he gently laid her down on the bed. She normally wasn't one for being coddled but in a case such as this one, she'd let it slide. It was showing her that he truly was sorry for all that he'd done. The look in his eyes conveyed that much and she hoped hers showed him that they'd eventually be okay again. They were strong. They had to be.

"I'll get you something more comfortable to sleep in." With a small nod, she let him go. He wasn't going far, just to the dresser and she watched the entire time. He'd be lucky if she let him out of her sight ever again. It took him literally seconds to find a shirt that was big enough to be comfy for her. She was in the process of slowly removing her shirt when he made it back to her side. At least wearing something that buttoned down made it easier on her dislocated shoulder but it was still numb which left her fumbling with the buttons.

Jane didn't offer to help with that one, she knew he could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to do it by herself and he let her. That's what she loved about him, he let her remain independent. She loved many things about the man, she hated many more but that's what love is. Taking the good with the bad and she knew from the start that Jane had a lot of the bad.

He waited patiently as she finally shrugged the shirt from her body, wincing a bit and then moving on to kick off her pants. That task was easier, still painful due to her hip and swollen ankle but definitely more bearable than her shirt had been. One look at the shirt he was holding and she almost cringed. She didn't know how he planned to get that over her arm but he seemed to have already thought of everything. He reached for her bruised and swollen arm, the blackening of her shoulder now defined, and very carefully eased it into the opening. The thin material stretched enough to give plenty of room for the wounded limb and there was minimal pain. Silently thanking him for being so wary, she let him finish by then placing the shirt over her head while she shoved her other arm into place. He tugged the fabric down so it covered her and then went about getting himself ready.

Under different circumstances she'd tease about the show she was getting as he unbuttoned his pants and let them drop but it wasn't the time to make witty remarks. It was time to sleep, time to talk, but not time for jokes. Once down to just his boxer-briefs, he joined her on their bed. He kept his distance, staying on his side and staring up at the ceiling. It was too warm for blankets so neither bothered with them, they just continued to bask in the silence. The same silence that'd been cast over them from the moment they left the precinct in Nevada. Words had been few and far between ever since, and it was hard for either of them to break the bubble they'd found themselves in.

"Is it really over?" The crack in Jane's voice is what made Lisbon answer. She could tell that he was finally realizing something she'd known the moment they'd left.

"Yeah, Patrick it's over. We got him, he's not going anywhere." He reached for her then, rolling on his side and curling around her body. It felt like it'd been such a long time since they'd lain in such a way. She shifted around to get a little more comfortable – though she wasn't sure it was possible – and let her uninjured leg tangle between his. The feel of his warmth was enough to make her forget for a few moments the bad things that could have ripped them to shreds and when he nuzzled her cheek, she turned to give him a lazy kiss. She was fading fast, almost asleep but there were some things that needed to be said.

"Patrick?"

"Hm?"

"Don't ever do anything like that to me ever again, okay?" Lisbon knew that she wouldn't have to explain anymore than that. He'd know what she meant and that was good because her brain was beginning to jumble thoughts.

"I won't."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure. I want this." Letting her eyes close, she mewled softly when his fingers traced along the bandage on her neck. "I want you. I'm not going to risk losing you again."

"I just need you to know that I won't hang around a second time."

"I know." She wouldn't either. If he ever did something so stupid and incredibly hurtful ever again, she was gone. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't deal with him thinking that it was all her fault. "We need to change this."

Confused at first by his words, she quickly came to realize what he meant and just groaned. She was not about to get up, go downstairs, find the first aid crap given to her and proceed to change the bandage on her neck. It could wait a little bit.

"Sleep. We need to sleep."

"I agree." Carefully snuggling into his warmth, Lisbon sighed in content and let her hand rest against his chest. "We did it, Teresa. We stopped him...I can't believe we..."

"Shhh, sleep. We can talk when we wake up, just rest now. Everything is okay and everybody is safe. Just rest." Easing into the relaxing position they both let their thoughts accompany them on their trip into the land of slumber. Both thinking of where they'd been, how far they'd come and whether or not this was the end of the Red John madness. In all truth, there was a chance he could always somehow get out, escape again or something but neither of them let such a thought plague them too much. They were home, in their apartment together, surrounded by their stuff and nothing was going to ruin that feeling. They were living together, they were in love, and despite it being a rough patch in the relationship they were happy to be in each other's arms when it all came down to it.

**a/n: Short happy end? I think yes. I've been on an updating spree lately, in case you haven't noticed. And I'm quite excited to mark this off my list. COMPLETE! United is next on the update list, I'm going to try to finish it up tomorrow, either during or between classes. **


End file.
